In this piece I am going to discuss some ideas and methods I used with a team I had in St. Louis. This took place over the course of one season, from August to June. I had a group of around twenty U12 girls, split across two teams, an A and a B team. I had the B team for two one hour sessions per week, and initially the A team for only one session per week, as their second session was delivered by the club relic, but an absolute dinosaur in coaching terms. The hour they spent with him was about as beneficial to football performance as sniffing glue. On Friday nights, our club would run a largely ineffectual technical practice, that was often poorly administered and poorly attended (chicken and egg).
The teams competed at 9v9 in regular league play, split across two seasons in the local league, like the Mexican apertura and clausura. Promotion and relegation were always at stake. Both teams would also compete in a handful of local tournaments, and at least two out of town tournaments per year. Being an A and B team, there was to be movement up or down across the teams if it were required. If we are truly about development, then we have to put the needs of the players first. As a group of 2006s, sometimes we would have players help or train with the 2005s, and sometimes 2007s would join in with us. Halfway through the year, another coach was fired, and I took over the 2005 (U13) girls B team. This provided more opportunities for players playing and training up. This was the fifth team I was put in charge of that year, making my weeknights and weekends super busy.
Here they are, after our first game, which, if memory serves, we lost 3-2. Within that game, they showed what a talented bunch they were, which gave me great excitement for the future.
My Personality
In most settings, I am fairly reserved, always calm, sometimes quiet. I can perhaps seem aloof or indifferent, but that is due to my childhood. Raised as an only child by two parents who worked long hours, at a private school, I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. I don't thrive on the company of others. This can often make me seem cold and uncaring. This alarms a lot of American parents, and football parents in general, as they expect the coach to be the life and soul of the party. They look for high fives, nicknames, shouting, "pashun", and all that clichéd nonsense. If nothing else, I am at least authentic. The nicknames I give to kids are Chair, Sack (Zach), Weiner (Wheeler), Enis (Ethan), Scooper (Cooper) etc. Parents are looking for me to call the kid names like Champ. That's never going to happen.
People want to see intensity, but I do not fit their definition of it. When you meet someone face to face, they cannot see into your past and observe the hours spent learning, practicing, sacrificing. So they see Mr. Calm as a nice guy, and that nice guys finish last. They couldn't be further from the truth, but my personality, on first glance, does not fill people with confidence towards my abilities. Parents at least.
My Coaching Style
Without always knowing it, or being able to articulate it, I have been a follower of Teaching Games for Understanding, or the Constraints-Led Approach. The game isn't about the coach, it's about the kids. Many within sport forget that, especially the parents. I see myself as a teacher or a facilitator. Coaches are session architects. We create the environment and the situations for the players to learn within. We teach concepts. We are there to facilitate the development of the players.
I do not shout or intimidate. I am not loud or aggressive. I do not rule via punishment. I do not argue with the referees. I do not endlessly bark instructions. Again, to many American parents, this makes me look weak and ineffective. It seems as if I'm not taking control of the situation, not caring, and not giving kids my best. When everything goes against us, I am a sea of calm. Likewise when we are succeeding. My focus is the process, and what I can control and influence. If I get the process right, the outcomes will be good.
What Was I Up Against?
The team was good. They had been messed around by the club and previous coaches, going through multiple in a short space of time. They wanted quality, and consistency. To aid that consistency, initially I had to share session time with a local hero. A guy who played 6v6 indoor, and once went to an MLS combine. The parents didn't trust the club that I was a long term appointment, so the local hero was used as a bargaining tool. Full of charisma, a loud deep voice, bags full of high fives, and super cool nicknames like Slugger. The kids loved him. The parents fapped to his instruction on the sideline. In terms of personality and values, very different to me. In terms of coaching style, the complete opposite of me.
This guy was paid a lot of money by the club, and given many of the higher performing teams. You know how the honey trap goes. Big name attracts good players. Good players win trophies. Trophies attract better players at tryouts. Cut the weaker players. Team becomes stronger. Win more trophies. In reality, the guy was a dinosaur. One of the worst coaches I have ever worked with. Maybe he once loved the game, but all I saw was a frustrated man, shouting at kids, running the exact same session every practice, regardless of topic, regardless of team. It was like he was wearing a mask, trying to hide behind it.
You'll catch a glimpse of the session in the top left corner of this joke video that was made. Myself and some colleagues were amazed, as we shared a field with him for ten months. Lines, run up to the cone, do a move, run back, back again, then all run with the ball towards an open net (sometimes two, side by side) to shoot the ball unopposed. Collect the ball, go to the back of the line. With the better players, he would challenge them to hit the net without the ball touching the ground. Sometimes the move would differ. Sometimes he would throw in something like a push-up. His session would sometimes start with ten minutes of ball mastery. The game at the end might consist of three teams, two playing, while the third runs laps until it is their time to play. The game could be replaced with a 1v1 or 2v2 drill, playing to goals, with around 80% of the squad waiting their turn.
The warm up of his players would be to fetch the goals, move them into position, and then run a couple laps. This regularly meant we had players running through our exercises and games. He got them one night per week, I got them one night per week, and they had technical one night per week (if they ever came to it).
The players of the team I inherited loved him, and so did the parents. He was what a coach should be.
The parents in Missouri could be a little like this.
What was I coming in with?
The club brought in myself and another coach to replace a recently departed coach from our organisation. That relationship didn't end well, and we were to patch it up. This club wasn't our employer, but essentially rented us from the organisation, and were given access to all our training materials. Part of my job was to help get that across to the club. I failed miserably.
Our organisation was an affiliate of a big European club. We came in with a philosophy, style of play, methodology, curriculum. We thought that was so cool. 80% of the club could not care less. To them, coaching is simply shouting at kids when to shoot, and telling them to run fast.
The four pillars of our philosophy underpinned everything we did. This was to permeate every team at every age group, every session, and every instruction.
This provided us a great blueprint of what to teach, what to emphasise, what to work on. We were amazed to find very few were following it. The teams we were inheriting were supposed to have been being taught this stuff for at least a year. Why were we coming in to spend the first three months embedding what should already have been done?
We had four stages, and this was the third. Each correlating to the size of the teams; 5v5, 7v7, 9v9, 11v11.
Clear guidelines on session structure.
How we might structure our weekly sessions.
The topics to work on each week at 9v9.
How the topics fit in with the philosophy.
The formation. At 11v11 our teams would play a 4-1-4-1, essentially a 4-3-3. This 9v9 formation is a 4-3-3 without the wingers. All we would do at 11v11 is add in a number 7 and a number 11. Imagine defending in a 4-3-1, with most of the work being given to the wing backs, the 2 and 3.
The problems we would encounter with this formation is that most American defenders have been banned from crossing the halfway line. So 2 and 3 would not push up. After much encouragement, they would do. Then the problem was getting them to recognise when to push up, and how much they needed to come back. Likewise, the 6 wasn't used to sitting. Most 6s would roam where they felt like. These elements combined often meant we were vulnerable to long balls. And of course, that's how most youth teams in Missouri would play. It would drive the parents mad that we would keep conceding goals, and apparently not learn from it, but there was a bigger picture.
The bigger picture being that the players who played as a 4 or 5 would experience a lot of 1v1, 2v2, and 2v2 defending. Most teams at 9v9 play 3-3-2, 3-2-3, or 3-1-3-1. Their success at defending comes down to sheer numbers, rather than individual intelligence, positioning, or tactical discipline. Midfields were to be by-passed. Our intention was to learn how to counter, but also how to build up the play if necessary.
Our formations lend themselves very well to triangles and diamonds. Passing lanes and support angles are ready made. Players learn these, and it remains consistent through 7v7, 9v9, and 11v11. Other clubs will shift their players around constantly, as they go 2-3-1, 3-3-2, and then 4-4-2, or something similar. The lines and the angles are always changing. This gives our teams a great advantage heading into 11v11 play, as rather than focussing on the best formation to win us youth games, we have focussed on the best formation to prepare our players for the future game.
Like this.
You can see how the 6-8-10-9 make a diamond at 5v5, and all we do is add two players to that at each age progression, without changing the core shapes. Add in a 4 and 5, which gives us the 7v7 shape. Add in a 2 and 3, which gives us the 9v9 shape. Add in a 7 and 11, which gives us the 11v11 shape. No moving around, no changing of angles, just consistency through the ages.
Part of the benefit for that was that our organisation had a large network of clubs, looking to pull the best talent from across the country. The reason why kids from California, Texas, and Florida can all play together is that they are learning the same system, in the same sessions, in the same methodology, across the country. Our kids go to these events and say it feels like they have been playing with their teammates for years. That's because they are not coming from a mixture of different formations and playing styles.
Yet football in Missouri was inspired by this video game.
What were my first steps?
I tend not to go in all guns blazing. Everywhere has a different culture, and I tend to observe and empower others. "Show me how you do this." That way, I learn what the players think and feel, and how the see the world around them. I must know them before I can coach them.
One of the first things I do at a new team is try to create the right environment. There is a player-coach-parent relationship that must be open and trustworthy. Below is the kind of nonsense one would hear at a youth game in Missouri. It's probably the same where you are.
I set the demands and standards with the parents right away. My accent makes me seem interesting and knowledgeable to Americans, and my lack of kids means that I do not have that bias. We can't have instructions and aggression on the sideline. Even the things you praise have an impact. The goalkeeper was very physically developed for her age. At my first practice, I thought she was somebody's older sister that was hanging around. She had a big boot, and every time she launched the ball, the parents would shout praise. Amazing to me how amazed these people were at big kicks. 90% of the time, we would not retain possession from these. I got a few parents together and told them to STFU. I changed the way they look at the game."If we have the ball, they can't score. If they have the ball, we can't score." And my favourite "Just because she kicks the ball high and far doesn't mean it's a good thing. She could kick it with her arse, but as long as it goes to one of our players and not theirs, it's a good kick." The response was that they never really thought of it that way, and then their behaviour changed.
At the first game, hardly knowing the players, I told them to take charge, show me how they play, and who goes in what position.
It shocked them at first. I'm the coach, I have all the answers. But then it sunk in as making logical sense. Why would someone who doesn't know the group, tell the group what to do? First, I have to know them. As they were a good bunch of kids, they really started to get into it. They happily took charge and were eager to show me what they could do. I sat back and observed, making notes of each player. They were certainly skilful and energetic, with decent 1v1 skills. Although I have a lot of complaints to make about the club and how they ran it, one thing they did a lot of was ball mastery and 1v1, which meant these players were fairly good at it. In the end, we lost 3-2, but were the better team. It was highly encouraging, and I couldn't wait to get stuck in.
One of the first things I taught them was how to do the warm up. And then encouraged them to start it themselves, without prompting, before every game and practice, even if I wasn't there. Coaching five teams meant I couldn't always be at the start of everything. This gave the players responsibility. Many printed it off, and eventually learnt it by heart.
Do a bit of dynamics, some passing, and then into rondos. Easy. I was shocked at how many teams in the US still did static stretching before games, and often before any kind of dynamic activity. Very 1980s.
The typical warm-up in Missouri, as demonstrated above by both teams, is to make two lines and take a shot at goal. Players are far better off simply playing a game of tag than standing still in a line. No mental or physical work required.
Teaching the formation and style of play was key. It was new, it was different, and it was risky. I knew it meant losing a few games to start off with, but I also knew it would make them better players in the long run. These were good players, held back by the nonsense they had been operating in. It wasn't my job to fill them with knowledge, but to unleash their potential. This regularly meant working hard to change their already ingrained programming.
Football is a game of decisions, which come from principles. We have to teach concepts. Not just shout at them to hustle. I would use a lot of questions;
- What if?
- How about?
- What next?
- Why this option?
- Why not that option?
- How can you help?
- Where can you go?
- What do you see?
- What would you prefer she do?
- How do you want your teammates to support you?
This would get the players thinking. Kids love to show you what they know and what they can do. The players off the ball would start to chime in. They would always be positively reinforced for offering their opinions, congratulated if they got it right, and never scolded for thinking or asking questions. This was part of creating the supportive environment. Some struggled at first, because they were used to being joysticked and spoonfed.
I used a lot of visual aids, since they didn't ever watch games on TV. Their only reference point was their own lived experiences. I bought this big board, and it came with me everywhere.
The above example is handwriting from one of my boys teams.
Some of the parents and coaches were fascinated by my board. It got bent out of shape pretty quickly, and the edges fell off, so I taped it back together. It lasted me my entire time in Missouri. On here, we would draw up plays, solve puzzles, create scenarios, and answer questions. The girls loved to get involved, learning things, solving things, and showing what they knew.
Here came the next step. Every week, I would send an email, detailing what we would be working on. In it, I might include pictures or videos to guide the players. This was a completely novel idea in Missouri. Here's an example from September 4th 2017, aimed at these 9v9 girls.
Our sessions next week will be based around switching play. That’s when we are trying to attack up one side of the field, and have our path to goal obstructed, so have to move the ball to the other side of the field. The switch of play can sometimes be the killer pass that helps us create a scoring opportunity, and sometimes it can be a pass to the open player solely with the intention of retaining possession and getting away from pressure.
Some key words and phrases:
Diagonal – This is a type of pass that goes both forward and sideways. A pass from the left defender to the right midfielder would be a diagonal pass. These can be both directly to the player, and also to the space in front of the player for them to run on to.
Recycle – If we can’t go forward with the ball, rather than kicking it really hard and hoping to gain territory with the ball, we pass the ball sideways and backwards to our teammates who are in more space. These players will then be able to start attacks from other positions.
Channels – Imagine that the pitch is split into five vertical channels that go all the way from one goal line to the other. We have the two wings, which would be channel 1 and 5. We would also have the central channel, which would be channel 3. What’s left is what we call halfspaces. These are wide areas, but are still central. These halfspaces in channels 2 and 4 connect the middle to the wing. We will begin to realise the importance of these as time goes by.
So why do we switch play? It could be to relieve pressure, or it could be for the killer pass.
Here is a great video of Barcelona’s Croatian midfielder Ivan Rakitic switching play and hitting some exquisite diagonal passes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mwo3qPHsoc
This video provides an excellent explanation on why we switch play in soccer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6dFzb1TN70
And in this video we see a more in depth explanation of how Spanish side Villarreal combined to switch play using short passes in a game versus Valencia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxyhfXsvnGk
At first, the parents were a little reluctant. Extra work? What is all this YouTube nonsense? Why don't you just shout at them a little more? Many players pretended to have watched it. They were easily found out when they didn't know the answers to anything. The peer pressure and desire to be included in the process eventually brought many onside. It showed them what football really looked like. It also had the added benefit of educating many of the parents, who couldn't tell their arse from their elbow.
How did the sessions go?
Glad you asked. Here are some examples of what I did. One day, a parent on the B team got angry and said all I do is play games. Well yes, football is a game. We do game things. If it doesn't look like football, you're not getting good at football. Always remember; are they learning the game or learning the drill?
The key element I am going for here is to work off of transitions. To me, attacking at speed means that we have space to go flying into. It’s hard to attack at speed against an organised defence. Part of the task is to have an exercise where there will be space for the players to attack. Before a transition, the team in possession are usually spread out. Due to an interception or a steal, the opposition will now have the ball, and in those first six seconds before the former attacking team change into a defensive shape, there will be gaps and spaces to attack. Teams are at their most vulnerable in the six seconds following loss of possession. So make sure plenty of that is happening.
The use of target players and rondos means that the ball will always be in circulation, and that teams have very little time to get back into a good defensive shape, meaning their positioning can be exploited by quick attacks. The same with the four second restart rule, which I am stealing from futsal. If the team in possession has not restarted play within six seconds, the opposition can steal the ball from them (not exactly like futsal, but you catch my drift).
Towards the end, during the scrimmage, I may use a game scenario. I will put one team two goals ahead, to make it 2-0. And we will call it half-time, so the players can have a brief discussion (with some coach input if necessary) about what strategies to use, and if they will change their formation to perhaps be more attacking or defensive. They have to weigh up the risk and reward themselves, and evaluate the pros and cons of certain decisions. It’s a great way to involve the players in the decision making process, getting them to analyse the game, and take ownership and responsibility of their own destiny.
Session for Tuesday night for the girls. Plenty of movement, and all possession based. Level of opposition gradually increases with each exercise. Remember; we do not pass to move the ball, we pass to move the opposition. Try and have the team in possession create 3v1s to overload the opponents. A 3v1 allows the player on the ball two options, making them less predictable. If a second defender comes to press, it becomes 3v2. We know that in football, when there is pressure in one area, there is space in another. A 3v2 means a defender has been pulled out of position. That’s when we switch the ball and create a new triangle. Repeat the process until the opportunity to penetrate arises through poor defensive positioning.
I used to share all these with my colleagues, and most would continue to do the same old bollocks.
This might give some insight into my views on training design, especially regarding teaching games for understanding.
Below is a checklist you can use when observing practices.
Using the curriculum, I designed a booklet as a guide for our entire club. I stuck with it for my weekly sessions, using the objectives, exercises, and questions from it as my guide. Here are the five pertaining to the 9v9 stage.
The players thought it was cool to see themselves on such a document. For more on that, go here.
When it came to games, which we saw as an extension of training, we would have objectives each week that would relate to the weekly topic. My idea has always been that if the other team is better than us, we will lose, and that if we are the better team we will win. That's not an absolute belief, before anyone gets upset. Instead of focussing on the result, which tells us little about how we played, or the league positions, which are largely arbitrary, we focus on our process. What did we work on during the week, and how well did we execute such plans during the games at the weekend?
I made game objective cards. We would look at one or two that were specific to our practices, and see how well we performed against it. It was meant as a guide. We could use objectives that weren't on there, but it was always important to assess our performance based on objectives and how well we executed plans, rather than results.
Here they are, for your benefit.
The game always had to relate back to the topic. That's how we judged success. One game was counter attack. We won 3-1, but two of our goals came from counters from the keeper. We also created many other chances like that. That made it a success.
A big part of the way we play involves the goalkeeper. Manuel Neuer was the model. Keepers in Missouri live in the six yard box. Nobody ever passes backwards. Keepers don't pass, but boot. It took a lot of encouragement, time, and patience to get our keeper to come out of her shell and take these risks, but she did. She was brilliant. We were lucky enough to have perhaps the best in the state. That wouldn't be an exaggeration. But now I was asking her to take risks and do things differently. There were many mistakes along the way. Her teammates were patient. They got it. They saw the logic behind it, and they knew how good she could be. I told her that if she made a mistake playing the way I wanted her to play, then it was my mistake, not hers.
****FORGOTTEN ANECDOTE****
Originally, I had forgotten to include this anecdote, so I have come back in to write it. I feel it is important, and how people see the game and their kids wrong. After several months of working with this keeper, she was playing with great confidence, and doing very well at what was being asked of her. She took great risks, rushing out to sweep and clear through balls. The parents couldn't watch, they were so nervous. They understood why she was being asked to do it, but that did not make it any less nerve wracking.
One Saturday morning, we're playing a game, probably the stronger team. Dominating the ball, making a few chances, and limiting our opponents. The keeper was playing like a quarterback. Outside of the box, receiving the ball from one side, taking a touch, and rebuilding attacks on the other side. Spreading passes like nobody's business. We went 1-0 down in the first half. A shot from outside the box, low into the bottom corner, which bounced over her outstretched arm. It happens. We keep playing our way, and make it 1-1.
Half time comes, we have our discussion, plenty of belief from the team that we can win. The second half continues like the first. About five or ten minutes in, one of our defenders passes it back to our keeper. She's outside the box when she receives it. Our team has got into a great shape, high and wide, offering short and long. She looks up, can't see a penetrating pass, so plays to a defender on the other side. The defender couldn't go forward, pressure was coming, so went back to the keeper. The keeper played a short pass back to the original defender, who once again returned the ball. Our keeper had looked up, and had now spotted a pass over on our right wing. She attempted this long switch of play with her weaker foot, and completely fluffed it. The scuffed pass went right to their attacker, who carried the ball forward and hit it into an empty net.
At the other end, the opposition had a keeper who never left the six yard box. She didn't take her own goal kicks, with the two big aggressive dad coaches in baseball caps opting for the biggest defender to toe punt the ball up the field. She never made herself available to receive the ball. The team rarely played backwards, certainly not in their own half. When she caught the ball in live play, she would do a dropkick, where the two hands carrying the ball were placed directly in front of her with outstretched arms, parallel to the ground. The release of the ball was not dropped down, but tossed up slightly, and then a big swing of the leg, like a pendulum, would make contact with the ball, that would usually go more high than far. Contrast that to our team, which had Pirlo with gloves on. The opposition beat us 2-1.
At the end of the game, during the handshakes, one of their coaches tried to be a bit sly. When he thought nobody was looking, he put his arm around our keeper, and told her he should come join his club. She told me straight away, and seemed somewhat affronted by the audacity of it. Here's my thoughts, in no particular order.
1. Don't touch a kid that you have no relationship with. A huge man putting their arm around an eleven year old girl, even though she was built like a fifteen year old, is weird and intimidating.
2. Obviously I was flattered he saw the merit in how she was playing.
3. Great for her to get such recognition from an opponent.
4. Trying to solicit another player during the season is illegal, which tells you about his morals.
5. It's a big FU to his own goalkeeper, looking to replace her like that.
6. If you have your own goalkeeper, and you like what my goalkeeper does, why don't you teach your keeper to do what mine does? Wanker. It took many months of failure to get her to that level of failure. Remember, it was her mistake that caused the winning goal.
7. Would you be so kind to her if she made such a mistake on your team? The reason why she was trying to do what she did in the way she was doing it, is because she knew how supportive I and the rest of the team were. If I were the kind to bollock her for such a mistake, then she wouldn't be the type of eleven year old keeper to receive the ball outside the box and look to ping a diagonal with her weaker foot.
This says a lot about the kind of coaches we were dealing with. They could recognise a good player, which anyone can do. That's the easy part. They're more willing to steal talent than develop it, and are willing to trample on their own players to do so. Once at our club, when I was leading a coach ed session on playing out from the back, I was telling them all how unethical and damaging it is to not let your keeper take goal kicks. I showed what shapes to make with and without pressure, and the priorities associated with long and short. In this particular short example, a couple coaches chimed in with "But what if our keeper can't kick that far?" I was stunned. "Well then, Coach, coach her to do it." It will take time and plenty of mistakes, but ignoring the problem until she can suddenly distribute as if by magic is not going to fix this. Instead, you are sweeping it under the rug, and passing the problem along the line to this kid's next coaches. It's criminal to watch high school games and see keepers that can't take goal kicks. I always wonder how many coaches along the way failed that kid by sweeping the problem under the rug and hoping it would fix itself. All because they prioritised the short term winning over the long term development over the individual. I know many were scared of the parents. Grow a pair, and do what's right for the kid, or piss off out of youth sports.
After a while, she was coming way out of her box to sweep through balls. She was also receiving under pressure, and helping us recycle possession. Her positioning as we advanced up the field became more and more adventurous. Her distribution with hands and feet improved massively, but also her decision making. She began to see when to start counters and when to be patient. When to go long and when to go short. She was great at shot stopping, albeit with sometimes an unorthodox technique, but that is only about 1/8th of a keeper's game these days.
As every little bit of her game, and the team's game, improved, the performances improved, and the wins started to come. Keeping possession under pressure better means less giveaways. A keeper that sweeps means the opponent is less effective with kick and run. As we learn to progress the ball up the pitch more efficiently, we create more and better chances, while also starving the opposition of the ball, allowing them less time to make their own chances. This is how to view the game. Not hustle and heart and fight. This is the stuff parents can't see.
We may have been patient with her, but that's only one side of the coin. As a team and coach, we can provide the right environment, but it's the individual who has to come out of their comfort zone. She was brave, took the bull by the horns, and was very confident. Her communication improved as she started to understand the game better. A bossy and loud keeper means a confident keeper and an organised defence. She could be shouting out the names of animals, but it always feels good to have a keeper behind you that is confident and vocal.
Why play out from the back rather than mindlessly launching it?
She also scored a couple free kicks, making her a bit of a Jose Luis Chilavert.
She initially wanted to play on the pitch as well as in goal, but came to the decision, all on her own, without pressure from us, to be the full time keeper. She played every game as keeper for the A team, and half keeper and half on pitch for the B team. Letting her take free kicks occasionally was a reward.
What happened next?
To begin with, I wasn't exactly popular. The new concepts meant we were vulnerable when playing, because we were still figuring ourselves out, while playing against teams who knew what they were doing, and would play with an effective 9v9 formation, that meant they were hard to beat at that age. It took us ages, probably at least two months, before we finally won a game. One parent said to the club president "I thought I paid to be on a winning team" which fully demonstrates the mindset in Missouri.
I felt like I had one hand tied behind my back, as this A team had one session a week with everyone's favourite coach, and one with me. I could do so much more with this team, if given more than an hour a week. So I looked at ways to try and do more.
There were two big things I did. One was to start recording games. In addition to the weekly emails, I would send out some analysis videos I made of the team. It would take me two days to do on my slow laptop, with cheap software. Some parents didn't like it at first, accusing me of being too negative, and only showing mistakes. Some didn't watch it. On YouTube, you get all the stats relating to your videos, so I knew how many were watching it, and for how long.
Here are my examples.
A lot of this was effort spent trying to prevent them from just hoofing it. Simply swinging a leg at the ball, like a drunk playing cricket, hoping to get the ball to go anywhere but where it currently was. We called pointless hoofs "fight balls." It's how most teams would play against us, launching it forward, hoping to get a lucky bounce off a defender that hasn't been allowed to head all her life, now being expected to head a ball dropping out the sky. Repeat until you score. Too many of our players were in this habit. A lifetime of being told to "get rid of it" and "kick it up" can have that effect on a kid. We demonised it. It became a source of ridicule as we mocked the opponents who were too stupid to make decisions on the ball. We may have lost games, but at least we played intelligently. It became that Us v The World mentality that a lot of teams use. These analysis videos, plus the examples in the weekly emails, had a big (yet slow) effect.
The analysis videos and weekly emails were compounded by a roundup from the game. Below is an example from my 2005 team.
The other thing I did was to find an extra hour of training. Clearly I wasn't busy enough with my five teams. On Monday nights, I had a free slot (during the first half of the season, at least). Our indoor facility was available. I put us down for it, and encouraged players to come. It was a hit. Girls aren't encouraged to play. Everything in their lives is structured, and they always have expectations to adhere to.
Seriously. Check this concussion list, and tell me if it doesn't represent 90% of boys that one may coach in Missouri.
This concussion list is any American boys team on a good day.
The above video shows what it was like indoor. This was from a fun 4v4 tournament we did. We would play all sorts of fun football games, with weird and wonderful challenges, restrictions, and incentives. For an idea on what they could be, check out this blog post.
Most of the time, it was their highlight of the week. They would come along hyper, bouncing off the walls. It confused some parents, but they were willing to go with it due to the enjoyment of their kids. At the very least, from their point of view, it allowed them to burn off some energy. It was one of my favourite sessions of the week, too. Happiness is measured in smiles. We talk about creating a love for the game, and in here, that was certainly being cultivated. How? Because players weren't being criticised. They had so much input. They were allowed to play, compete, try. And they didn't know they were being coached. Coached? Maybe manipulated or coerced, via the constraints of the games we were playing. They thought the shooting game we played was major fun, whereas what it was doing was prodding them and rewarding them for the behaviours and decisions that I desired.
One of the best nights of doing this was around Halloween, when we all came along in costumes. I was advised against the idea, because it wasn't proper or serious. They can kiss my arse. My main concern is providing a good footballing experience to my players. And I think this achieved that.
We spent the night playing football in costumes. And as you can see, I went in goal as Darth Vader. Lightsaber and mask.
Even USSF advocates for shutting up a bit, and letting the kids be kids occasionally.
What came next?
I started to dish out more responsibility to the players. Captains are a great way of doing that. To many, it is used as a token title. Your best player and loudest player go in for the coin toss, the referee tells them no elbows, and they report back to you which end we defend first. It was a great opportunity for me to get more out of them. They had the intelligence, maturity, and desire. A large part of our job as coaches is to teach life skills, and one of the big ones is leadership.
I went on Amazon and purchased a bunch of colourful captain's armbands.
By Christmas, I had fourteen of these, so they had a pair to match. Captains were to begin the warm ups at training and matches, without prompting. They were then supposed to assist me in the teamtalks, and the reflective process at the end of the games and practices. They get a voice. They get to be in charge. How cool is that for an eleven or twelve year old girl, playing her favourite sport, with her best friends?
At the end of each practice, during our debrief (this sometimes went on too long, and drove parents mad, as the floodlights would turn off and we'd still be conversing) the players had to nominate someone they thought did well in the session, and state in front of the group, why that was. They would then provide me with some nominations for captains, and I would pick two. It was all very positive, and motivated players to try hard in different ways. They carried bags, left no trash, turned up early for practice, and if a captain wasn't there, someone else would take over, to show how capable and willing they were.
This is them, warming up before a game, as I arrived from another match. Didn't have to tell them what to do, or how to do it. They wanted to win, and they knew winning came from preparation, so of course they would do their jobs right. Notice the print out of the warm up in the right hand of the girl wearing the jacket? She was a feisty badass, so competitive. If she felt something would help her or the team be successful, she would do it. Having good, strong leaders like that in the group helps massively.
The Breakthrough
For a while, the A team had been playing well, but not getting results. Many adult minds see the results as the important bit. What good is performance if it doesn't come with results? Shut up, mate, they're kids. It's the performance that is important here.
A few parents gave me some wise words of advice. I was a young man of twenty-eight, no kids of my own, obviously knew a lot about soccer, but didn't know anything about hustle. Some told me to be louder, to be more passionate etc. The usual nonsense. Some didn't like the way I did rotations, or that I gave game time to weaker players. There was one match we were losing, but battering a team. It was obvious we would win if we continued. With ten minutes to go, the rotation I made said to take off two of the better players and replace them with two of the weaker players. We never got the win we were chasing, but did keep up the performance.
They expected to see this on the sidelines...
Four big angry men, none of whom are in matching uniform, or even soccer uniform, aggressively shouting pure crap at little kids. What they got was...
Spock. Quietly engaging with the players on the bench. Verbally giving about ten or so instructions per half to the players on the pitch. All of it useful. Not of it emotional nonsense.
Anyway. This was a big, but silent, moment for some disgruntled parents. Why would I take off two good ones for two bad ones if we were all over the opponent? For me, it's easy; 1. They needed game time. 2. The weak players also needed exposure to high pressure environments. One day they might be playing in extra time in a cup final, with no subs left. How will they win that game if they were never exposed to similar situations when they were young? I always had the long game in mind. I will never see these girls again. I could have won more games with them, sure, but what would that have given me? A couple more plastic trophies? Who cares? My job was to prepare them for when they were older, even if it meant sacrificing now. Even if it meant abuse and negativity. You must do what is right, and not serve your own ego. Kids' futures are at stake, so get over yourself and do the right thing.
It was around this time the one parent remarked to the club president about how she paid to have her kid on a winning team. All this tension among the parents, yet me and the kids were having a great time. Like two different worlds, or probably, two massively different ways of interpreting the world.
And then it happened. We won a game. It had been coming for a while. This is an example that I feel is timeless, and I have used it on many occasions. The game was 2-2. We were defending a corner. The ball comes in, bounces around, and is cleared off the line. We then begin a counter attack, go up the other end, and score. We won the game 3-2. Their possession play was fantastic. They did so many things well in that game, and I was so proud of the way they played. But to me, they had been doing this for a few games now. It finally counted with the parents though, because we got the win.
A dad comes up to me after the game and said "The girls played really well today." I replied "They did, but would you be saying that if the ball was not cleared off the line, and we lost 3-2?" He didn't know what to say. Games are won by fine margins, sometimes randomly. You can have ten shots and score zero, while your opponent has one shot and one goal. Who played better? The team who made the most chances, while conceding the least chances. That's not how parents see it, but it's how I got these girls to see it. Each time we lost to a kick and run team, I would ask them; would you rather win playing the way they did, or lose playing the way we did? Every time, without hesitation, they did not want to play kick and run. And have no doubt, they were not saying that to spare my feelings. This was a rambunctious bunch. They did not care about my feelings.
Before the win, I tried to appeal to the rational side of parents. In one game, we won the ball in the midfield, passed it sideways to the right wing. She couldn't go forward, so passed it to the defender. The defender, with pressure coming, and no options, played it back to the keeper. The keeper switched it to the left wing, who played the ball inside to the centre. The midfielder set the right winger free, who took the ball down the wing and crossed it into our striker. The striker got on the end of the cross, and missed the goal by inches. This was football the way it should be played. In a matter of weeks, I had gotten a bunch of eleven year old girls to see it this way, and to play it this way. We weren't always getting the success we deserved or the end product, but good things were happening. I pleaded with the parents to be able to identify these parts of the process.
But once we got one win, we were on a roll. Here's some goals from that time.
Memphis
A few wins under our belt and some growing confidence, we went down to Memphis for a tournament. It was a great opportunity for me to get to know the parents, and show them I'm not just some clueless idiot. This is where it really took off.
One of the best things about this group is that they knew when to be silly, and when to switch on. Remember; they are kids, this is fun, don't make life too serious. Life is never too short for smiles.
We stormed through the Memphis tournament. kind of made up for the six hour drive in my death trap of a car, getting to the hotel around two in the morning. I was excited, as this was my first stay away tournament in the US. These are seen as a big deal and a lot of fun. Ironic though, that we went all that way, and in our hotel had a team from St. Louis playing with us, with players on there some of the girls knew.
I liked the tournament, and it ended up being my last ever tournament in the US, winning it (pointlessly easily) with my 2003 boys team. We played three 9v9 games on the Saturday, a semi Sunday morning, and then the final Sunday afternoon. I've complained a lot about the tactical understanding and implementation of American youth coaches, who still use sweepers. Sweepers went extinct in Europe about twenty years ago. Nice to see they migrated and made themselves a new habitat in the USA. Let me take a moment to explain a little bit about 9v9 football, and how teams play it.
Most teams at 9v9 play a 3-2-3, 3-3-2, or 3-1-3-1. These then transition into 4-4-2 or 4-3-3. We do so, because we think it is logical. 3-3-2 is surely just a simple step into 4-4-2? But look at the pictures above. Look at how much the relationships and passing angles change. That's not an easy transition from 9v9 into 11v11. It becomes very confusing, because although you think your kids are taking the next simple step in their soccering journey, they're actually having to learn completely new systems. Even the positions that stay the same, like the keeper or some of the strikers, they have their supply lines changed. And if we go from 3-1-3-1 into a 4-3-3 type formation, arguably the most important player, the central midfielder in the 3, playing like a number 10 role, doesn't exist. The player that you use at 9v9 to connect the team together is then taken out at 11v11. Why? Because we don't care or think about how to adequately progress and prepare kids. Most just think about winning the game today.
Of course none of this matters if you're just going to hoof it forward like a bunch of twats.
Within our philosophy comes some flexibility. The guideline is to stick to it about 80% of the time. If there is a chance to win the game by adapting or changing what you do, you can do so, but you must make it a teachable moment. Involve the players.
- What have you noticed about the opposition?
- How are we vulnerable?
- How can we hurt them?
- What can we change to be more effective against them?
- What are the risks and rewards of making such a change?
And in one of that Saturday games, that's what we did, and to great effect. One thing that has always made my job of winning games in America is man marking. This one coach played extremely tight man marking. Not just shirt tight, more like under the shirt with them, two heads poking out the collars. It got silly.
When our keeper had the ball, we would go into this kind of shape. Live or dead, hands or feet. She was good enough with hands and feet to hit most players.
Our opponents would line up kind of like this. Nothing too radical yet. But then I started to notice something. Wherever my 10 or 8 went, their 2 or 3 followed.
If my 10 or 8 came short, they followed them. If my 10 or 8 went wide, the followed them. This then lead me to do some brief mental calculations.
I thought about what our keeper could hit, how much their keeper would move, and factored in that our 9 was very fast, very tough, physical, and a good finisher. Have you figured it out yet?
In the next couple minutes, I separately called over the 10 and the 8, while also telling the players on the bench who would go on for these positions, that essentially their job in possession is to stay as wide as possible. Do this, because the moron coach on the opposite team has instructed for the tightest of man marking, following the players all over the pitch. It was ridiculous. The ball would be on the other touchline, and the girl would still be stood next to our player, on the opposite touchline. The game was being played fifty yards away, but as far as she was concerned, she was doing as had been instructed by her coach. Quite a few times over the next couple of years I would encounter this type of setup, which once lead to a U14 boy of mine scoring a hat-trick inside ten minutes.
Our keeper was bright enough to spot the right pass in any given situation, so she just started sending them over, every chance she got. We were essentially given a 1v1 in half the pitch, with one of our strongest players. It lead to a lot of chances. Can't remember how many goals, but we won with comfort. Our 9 would be through on goal, being chased by a helpless defender, with the other two defenders stood on the touchline with our 10 and 8, just hanging out. The mantra that "Well, at least it wasn't my player that scored." Their goalkeeper staying inside the six yard box meant that our keeper could over hit, and it wouldn't be a problem, and that our striker could take big touches ahead of herself to accelerate, with no risk of the keeper coming out to get it.
This really outdated version of football that these morons drill into their players cripples them. They follow orders that are plainly wrong. This is because the coaches do not teach them or allow them to think for themselves, and because the coaches themselves are not up to date on their understanding of the game. The coaches then see their teams being sliced apart like a hot knife through butter, and start going crazy at their players for not hustling. They lack the ability to be able to view and understand their game, and because they are deeply flawed humans, begin to then criticise and insult their players for not doing their jobs properly. As far as I could see, this team were fulfilling their roles as had been prescribed, just that the plan was terrible. I felt sorry for the girls, as they would probably not be getting a ball out at their next practice, and would be doing laps as a punishment.
It's also bad for my players, as we had just won a game, not due to our own skill and decisions, but because of a really stupid decision by the opposition. It's like winning a race because the other driver insisted upon reversing the whole track. What makes this worse is that this way of playing would work frequently for the coach. Because they're all dumbasses. Very few other teams he would encounter would be able to recognise what they were doing and then be able to exploit it. This is because they all play mindless kick and run. It's the echo chamber of youth soccer. When everyone is an idiot, nobody has their views and way of playing challenged, especially not by a sarcastic English guy that goes on passive aggressive rants on his blog in a small, dark corner of the internet.
After a successful Saturday, I got to chill with the parents. This gave us a great time to get to know each other. We hadn't really been able to up until then. I came to see these opportunities as times I can start dropping truth bombs, spreading gospel, and handing out red pills. Most have never heard someone with my perspective talk about the game. They are shocked when I don't put the results down to hustle, and blame referees when things go wrong. I break down decision making processes, and talk about philosophy and methodology. Turns out, this was a really good bunch of parents. Very supportive, but not overbearing. The right amounts of serious and fun. Most of them got it, and the ones who didn't at least saw their kids were enjoying themselves and learning, so put it down to magic beans or something. Completely different story with the B team, which we will get to later.
On the Sunday, we won our semi, and it was back for the final. There were twelve or sixteen teams in this tournament. We were ranked number two, and our opponents in the final ranked number one. This was based off of the Gotsoccer rankings going into the tournament. The game started, and we outplayed the opposition. It was a footballing delight. We went ahead early in the first half. It seemed only a matter of time before the rest of the goals would come. Sadly, they didn't. Due to a couple individual errors, naive refereeing, and being kicked off the park, we found ourselves 3-1 down with only seconds left. The belief and intensity never waned, even from the players who made the howlers. We knew we could win. We knew we were better than them. This had been confirmed from how we were outplaying them, and creating so many good chances.
And then it happened. Our keeper had the ball. She came to the edge of the box, scanned forward, and launched a counter. The ball went wide, was crossed in, and our striker nodded it in for 3-2. This goal can be seen in the goal compilation video. We were playing in pink, keeper in red, attacking from right to left, and there were screams as the goal went in. We may not have time to win the game, but we felt somewhat justified, having at least a second goal after battering our opponents. Within moments of the restart from kick off, we had got the ball, gone on the attack, and had a corner. If you watch it, it was absolute quality delivery from a twelve year old girl. Holy crap. If ever a player needed to deliver such a good corner. The ball was floated into the danger area, and the girl who just scored, headed in a second. 3-3. This goal was also captured on video. Louder screams this time.
It went to penalties. My message at penalties is never to think about the outcome, only the process. My message for life, really. Choose now, long before you get to do the lonely walk to the spot, which corner to go for. And that it doesn't matter if we lose, or you miss, because on a great team like this, your teammates will always have your back. Then it happened. Heartbreak. We hit one over the bar, and lost the shootout. The girl who missed and the goalkeeper were both on the ground in tears. The whole team then started to cry. They made a dogpile on their sad teammates, and went into a hugging, crying frenzy. The belief, sadness, and complete love and care for their teammates was amazing. The girls who didn't do the business weren't sad for any other reason, other than they had let down their teammates, who they loved so much. Even the parents were crying. It was a special bond between a special group. And for me, moments like this always strengthened resolve. We were now going to be more determined than ever to win games, kick ass, and play the best football in St. Louis. It also felt like it finally meant I was their coach. I think the jury had still been out until this moment.
It's easy to know with kids whether they like you or not. Most kids are very honest and direct. I have made it part of my self-improvement plan to achieve this. I have always been honest, but maybe not as direct or forceful as I could have been. Now I'm maybe too direct, and people think I'm a dick, but that doesn't make me wrong. If you're offended by the truth. it is necessary to take a look at where you stand. These girls had always been fun and friendly, and from day one, a true joy to work with. At the hotel and at dinner, they were including me in their jokes and games. Kids who fear their coaches don't do that. They hide who they are. If I want to reach them and to get the best out of them, I can't have them hiding. I need to know their personality and their motivation. That won't happen by ruling with an iron fist.
Trying to Change the Club Culture
I've bitched a lot about the culture of coaches and parents at that club, so I won't waste anymore time doing it here. It's important to all be on the same page. And in some ways, we started to make in-roads.
The above is an example of girls and boys, who had turned up early, simply playing a game for fun. I had nothing to do, there was an empty part of the field, so I encouraged a game. It started off small, and as more turned up, the got in. It's important to remember that very few American kids engage in unstructured play. We can make room for it, even if it is only twenty minutes before practice begins. You can even see on these poor quality photos just how much fun they are having. They rarely get time to be active without adult intervention. They regularly forget that sport is fun and not work. It's nice to be able to remind them of this.
But not all are happy with it. It didn't really happen much after this. I was too busy to spark it, and others discouraged it. Girls shouldn't be playing with boys. Having kids playing around like this makes us look unprofessional. What a load of bollocks. It comes from the same kind of people that instead of this...
...would do it the other way round. Coach sat on the bench, kids sat on the grass. Coach lecturing, instead of asking questions and engaging. It's their game, not ours. We are just privileged to be part of their experiences.
Overall, at the club, we struggled to convince coaches, higher-ups, and parents to see things differently. Ultimately, we failed. We later found out of deep underlying toxic influences, but that is a discussion for another day.
People don't like the status quo being disrupted. Which means they will continue to be mediocre.
Another part of the culture we tried to instil was to support each other. A club is a family, and that's what families do. If you are around, come and cheer on your family. In these photos, you will see the boys sitting on our bench during one of our matches.
I was made coach of the 2005 B team, in addition to already being coach of the 2006 A and B team. This gave me a great opportunity to at least get some of that club culture I was looking for in my own little corner. Players from A and B may move up or down as appropriate. They might train together, train extra, or be called up to each other's games. It worked, as we played the same way and covered the same topics (like the whole club should have done).
When I got the 2005 team, some of those players would come to 2006 practice for extra training. I don't know, maybe they were enjoying themselves or something. It also allowed me to invite a few of the 2006 players to train with the 2005s, giving them a tougher challenge. They even got to play in some of their games, exposing them to the 11v11 game, and showing them how our 9v9 methodology would be rewarded as we passed around on the big pitch like Barcelona. It gave the 2005s a chance to lead, and the 2006s something to work towards. These were the opportunities I was hoping to create and establish club wide.
I did bring in a few 2007s for the 2006 B team. It soon got a bit awkward as they and their parents realised they were learning different and better things with me. Why wasn't their coach sending weekly emails? Why was their coach sitting players out during practice? Why wasn't I shouting nonsense at them? This doesn't happen when you're all on the same page.
And then came the ownership...
What we did next, seriously pissed people off. My sanity and ethics were regularly questioned. Obviously, I wasn't coaching, and I was just being lazy, by making the kids do everything. I will keep reiterating it, but as coaches we have to prepare kids for life, not just for sport. Winning games at youth level is chump change, fought over by wankers with small dicks. It's two bald men fighting over a comb. Happiness is measured in smiles. First, can we foster or develop a love of the game within the kids. They have to enjoy it and love it. Sport is a recreational activity, and they do it because it is fun. So many coaches and parents forget that it is fun, not work.
How does that old phrase go? On bad teams; nobody leads. n good teams; coaches lead. On great teams; players lead. We want them to explore, to learn, to express, to take responsibility, and to be accountable. I'll always remind parents why video games are so successful. It's because they pose the right level of challenge, the right level of guidance and prodding, give frequent reward, increase difficulty as time goes by, provide real time feedback through the consequences of one's decisions and actions, allow players to make decisions and explore largely on their own terms, but most importantly NO ADULTS TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO. Nobody there peering over their shoulder giving them criticism, telling them they are wrong, telling them to be careful. They have complete ownership and agency over their journey. We need to give some of that back in youth sports.
The coach is the architect of the environment, the architect of the session in terms of the variables and the challenges (imagine it as dials, like a space dial, a points dial, an overload dial etc. and we just adjust these to make the sessions) and a facilitator of learning. I don't have all the answers. I certainly have more than the kids, but I can't solve their problems for them in the game, so in practice I help them develop the tools to scan for information, identify what information is important, the risk and reward associated with certain decisions, and how to assess the effectiveness of their decisions via a range of feedback.
Here were my rules of selection and game day management:
Everyone plays at least 50% of the game. Some can get the full game, some can get half a game, and that is determined by many factors.
Subs happen every ten minutes, and we don't rearrange too much. This would often be two or three players at a time. Too many teams in Missouri treated subs like they were playing bloody ice hockey.
You all do your bit, regardless of where you play and whether you like it or not. The team comes first.
100% effort, 100% of the time. We view each minute of the game as like reps of an exercise. 60 minutes = 60 reps. If we are winning 4-0 at half time, we might waste the second half of 30 reps, instead of maintaining our intensity. Likewise, if we are losing against a good team, how will we improve if we don't get our reps in against stronger opponents?
Other constraints were that we had our formation. That wouldn't change unless we saw something in the game that allowed us to do it. And then there was the focus of the gameday objectives, keeping our eyes on the process, and not getting carried away with the outcome.
As I mentioned earlier, captains were nominated by players via group feedback at the end of practice. I would then select two of the nominations to be captains. They were then supposed to work together to pick the positions and sub rotations for the team that weekend for the upcoming game. They were also to deliver the warm up at the game and the next practices, as well as leading the teamtalk before the game, at half time, and the reflective process at the end of the match, all relating to our team objectives.
Sounds like a lot, and to many parents, their minds raced about endless conspiracies of what players would do if given so much freedom. Their perspective was very different from mine. I was with a bunch of players who wanted to win and to compete. They weren't going to do anything stupid.
Here's essentially what the task is; from these twelve players (who we all know have their one or two positions), distribute game time within these parameters, across this formation, with subs happening every ten minutes, and read out these objectives before the match. It's actually quite limiting. I have set very narrow boundaries there for them to operate within. Some parents had visions about girls picking all their mates and all playing striker. They couldn't see how much they wanted to win. They picked the best players to play in the best positions. The better players and harder workers got more game time. There was actually, in practice, very little variation between players and how they did this. If you wanted to win a game of football, you wouldn't give full game time to your dickhead mate and then play him as striker. It was also rare that the two players were absolute bestest friends, so the two heads combined meant that logic prevailed, and no radical ideas were put down on paper.
I would send the objectives out each week via email to the two captains. Often they would print it off or write them down. I would always have spare just in case.
They would work together in the days before the game to assign positions and game time. Remember, they want to win, so pretty much every line up was a strong one. I gave them sheets like this, which they printed off and filled out. Some who went to school together would meet at lunch or recess to plan the team for the weekend.
At the game, they would do the warm up. Often starting before I got there, as I buzzed around like a blue-arsed fly, from game to game. When the warm up was done, they would read out the team, give the orders, and I would chime in with little bits here and there. The sheets were left where the team could see them, so players could have another look if they forgot or were unsure. And then it was back into preparing physically and mentally for the match. After the first few goes, very rarely did I have to prompt them. They wanted to win, and I had given them a blueprint on how to plan, prepare, and execute. It was their game and their experience, all I had done was channel and focus it.
What did this inspire? Why is that important? Let's have a look at what started to happen. I implemented this across three teams; 2006 A, 2006 B, 2005 B.
One day, a player came up to and showed me plays she had been drawing up at school. Look what it says; "Look for overlap." It also tells the keeper to come up for support. She was eleven. She wasn't the only one to do this, with many of them now thinking about football on a much deeper level, and getting way more creative.
The above is a picture of two 2005 girls, two of my most favourite players to ever work with, who stayed in my programmes right until the end of my time in Missouri. They have met up at McDonald's to discuss the team, as they were captains that week. Before, working hard in training meant being the captain, which meant wearing the armband and doing the warm up. Now, captain meant being the boss. The effect that had on the players for hard work and concentration in practice was immeasurable. They all wanted to do it. They all wanted to be in charge. The 2006 A team, eventually everyone was captain, because they all worked hard and improved to show it. The 2006 B and 2005 B, the group was smaller, circulating around the same six players. That's to be expected, I suppose, as not all players on a B team will be that into their football.
This now had the players thinking about the game on a far, far deeper level. In addition to learning the concepts of the game, they started to learn reflection, analysis, planning, leadership, and game management. Who works best with who? Which players do you want on at the start of the game and the end of the game? How can you hide the weaker players and get more out of the stronger players? Who would be upset by certain choices, and how do you handle that? These were all things these girls were now considering. Which they would not have been doing beforehand.
Take a step back and look at how this fits into the bigger process.
Philosophy - Game Model - Formation - Style of Play - Curriculum - Teaching Methodology
A lot of players and parents had only experienced the free-for all of American youth soccer, where these things are buzzwords. They're used to all the talk and pretty websites. Now they were actually getting it.
As time went by, I eventually got the 2006 A team twice a week. I had proven my worth, and could get more done with them, with double the practice time, and without having my work undone by a coach who was polar opposite.
We had a weekly topic - weekly email containing videos and diagrams about the concepts we were about to learn - two trainings per week taught from a games based methodology - one (optional) training per week that was all small sided conditioned games - one (optional) training per week that was largely ineffective technical work - analysis of performance (if I had the time to do it) - captains being selected by the team - team reflection and feedback at the end of practices - captains selecting the team - captains leading the warm up - captains giving the teamtalk - captains leading the reflection.
Many coaches say that our job is to ultimately become obsolete. We get the players to a stage where they don't need us. I've always measured a training session by asking "if the coach died, would the players be able to continue?" The girls now did not need me. What it did was freed me up to dive into other things. Not having to focus on certain tasks allowed me to be more in depth and personal with my feedback. It allowed me to really hone in on my observations. It allowed me to challenge them in not only football, but also more holistic ways. Technical - Psychological - Physical - Social. I could now challenge them in all these boxes.
Before you ask, no, I would not recommend doing this with every group. They have to have the maturity to carry it out properly, and the game understanding to know what they are doing. There are many ways we can give ownership to players. These are just some of the ways I got them into it.
This provoked a deeper love and understanding of football. The girls would come to practice hyperactive. That became a challenge, but a great one to have. They were going to have fun and be challenged, and play with a great group of friends, overseen by a coach that cared about them very much and wasn't a mean wanker. When I went away for Christmas, I challenged them on things to work on. They sent me videos of them in basements doing SAQ, working on ball skills, watching games on TV, and even kicking balls around in the snow. They wanted to be their best. Some players, and even parents, started to comment on what they had observed on TV, remarking that it was like what I had shown the players, and how the girls were now doing similar things. I would take the compliment, but in my head I would be thinking "Do you just think I pulled these ideas out of my arse?"
I had the credibility with the 2006 A team. At one point, they went on a 10 game unbeaten run, and did so playing some of the best football one could find in the state. Such intelligent, driven, committed, creative players. It wasn't all perfect. They were kids, they had bad habits, some would lose focus. But those are human mistakes. We have to have patience and perseverance.
Many of you may be asking yourselves a question along the lines of "How can I tell if my child is talented?" At the back of most parents' minds is always the thought of college, pro, or other high level opportunities. Does your kid have what it takes? And how do you foster that? I always refer to this video.
I would also recommend this one, for good measure.
And try and view the game a bit more like Xabi Alonso.
Some coaching action shots to enjoy. Look at those demos. Look at that pointing and gesticulating.
These kids were lucky to have such a good pointing coach.
Indiana
Bloody kids, climbing trees, having fun with their mates.
Something which helped me massively was that with all three teams; 2006 A and B. 2005 B, I had three of the best parent coordinators. They were red-pilled, and helped me spread gospel. They did great work, and are great people. I will be forever grateful for the help they gave me. It must have been tough for them, not always understanding what I was doing, or why, but going with it, and having to deal with questions and comments from other parents.
The 2006 A parents by this time were all on side, and all brilliant. The 2005 B parents were mostly happy, because they had a coach that turned up and their kids got game time, although not everyone was on board with everything. It was in the 2006 B team that dissent started to arise. With the girls it was no problem. It's never the kids. A few parents were unhappy with the way I was doing things, but mostly at some of the losses. I just stand there. I don't shout at them. I don't care. All we do is play games. I don't punish them when we lose. You know the usual old bollocks.
It will forever stick in my mind this image I saw one night after futsal. There was one girl who at the start of the year, had moved to our area from out of state. Her dad was a real big guy, and as I came to find out, a bit of a twat. The kind that would bring up that he is also a coach. He used to volunteer American handegg at some high school. That was a man's sport, and here I was, some socialist, hippy, homosexual European, with my effeminate hand holding ideas, preaching nonsense via the most girly sport known to man. As time went by, he made a few uncalled for comments, but either did so under his breath, or when passing by. That's how real men communicate. They say things in barely audible, indirect ways, like true brave heroes. We had started to realise that he used to crucify his daughter in the car on the ride home. She was always nervous when he was there, and would do whatever he told her to from the sidelines. If she had the ball in our half, and he shouted "SHOOT IT" she would do it, even though she knew it was stupid. One evening, late after a futsal game, being the last match to finish, as a group we were all exiting the facility. I looked over my shoulder, and saw the big empty facility, except for just two figures. All alone, on the bleachers, was an eleven year old girl, head between her legs, tears falling from her eyes, while a 6'4'' 300lb man screamed at her, and berated her, for god-knows what. She was a great kid, and he was a complete prick. I reported it to the club. What could we do? It would simply be put down to passionate parenting. I call it child abuse. If I weren't such a pacifist, I would do serious physical damage to that man. At it would be a small fraction of the serious psychological damage he has caused his daughter. My only solace is that, as it plays out, he might die alone, and she probably won't go to his funeral. I hope he never meets his grandkid, and that his wonderful daughter succeeds in life, and he has no part of it. What a cock.
Back into outdoor now, and the 2006 B team were losing a game. A group of parents on the side, lead by a grandmother, were going crazy, shouting all the usual nonsense. If Coach wasn't going to scream at them to hustle, shoot it, and kick it out, then they were going to. The players noted to me how distracting and annoying they found it. I get it, parents can get carried away. I saw this as an opportunity to calm things down, and reiterate our club philosophy. At the end of the match, in front of the players, I had a parent meeting. I called out their behaviour. I made fun of it, in my wonderful English way. The players were giggling, as they knew I was right, and despite my tone, I was telling off their parents. I said it was like a circus on the sidelines.
The vocal and aggressive group of parents then turned this round into an inquisition. This horrible little grandmother, who I had never seen before in my life, suddenly started to tell me everything that was wrong with the way I was coaching. I was blindsided. Who was she? Why was she telling me what to do? How did she know more about my team than I did? The conversation was supposed to be "Calm down, everyone" and they were supposed to say "Sorry, got carried away, won't happen again" and it was hijacked by these idiots, lead by Osama Bin Grandma. The accusations, the insults, the "advice", none of it based in reality. They told me the players were only saying they liked the way I do things, and that in fact the players wanted me to scream and shout at them.
After this, and a subsequent parent meeting where more came out, many parents made a point of telling me they like what I do, and their daughter loves playing for me. I would say about 70% of the parents were on my side, and 100% of the girls were. It's never, ever, ever the kids that are the problem. But, all we do is play games, I don't teach them anything useful, and I am not passionate enough. Okay, thanks.
A few sessions after that, one dad who was a certified weirdo, walked onto the pitch during training. He made a beeline for the club president and another coach, who were presiding over another training session. His older daughter played on a different team for them, so he thought he "had it in" with the important people at the club. He was with them for the whole session, and apparently bitched to them about me for the whole hour. There was a rift forming between parents.
Both 2006 A and B went to a tournament on the same weekend in Indiana. A couple girls played a bit on each team. The A team parents were always together, having a great laugh, enjoying themselves. The B team parents were split, with the miserable bunch whispering together in the corner, and the others not sure what to do. If they hung out with the A team parents, they might be seen as traitors. And the girls? Running round the hotel, having a great time, regardless of which team they are on, because they are kids and fun is their priority. Not the bitchy, moody politics that small-dicked parents love to get into.
It turns out that this is where some of the internal sabotage of that 2006 B team began. When it was obvious we were leaving and the club was falling apart, one dad snaked me and secretly made a grab for power, backed by the angry parents. When we finally left, with a few training sessions to go, he took over. The club expected to be able to salvage at least a team from this. They were wildly mistaken. All the A team left, and most of the B team left. The only kids to stay were the ones whose parents hated me. The team reduced in quality significantly, had a terrible year, and then quit altogether. I don't like finding out my former players had a negative experience, but those parents certainly deserved it. Pricks.
The most upsetting case was a girl who I admired greatly. She was so kind, so humble, so hard working, and so much fun. She was one of the best trainers. After a while, I pulled her up from the B team, and played her on the A too. She came to double the training, and double the games. So enthusiastic, so willing to learn. She clearly enjoyed herself in my sessions and games, and all her teammates thought she was a great personality to have around. Little did I know her parents hated me and thought I was useless. She clearly didn't feel that way, and out of spite, was made to suffer by staying on a crap team, with a useless coach, at a club that was falling apart. All the girls who stayed deserved better, but she in particular had so much potential.
Funny that I was bonding more with the A team parents, even though our results were poor at this tournament, while a minority of B team parents were planning a mutiny, during a tournament in which their girls played fantastic and won. Sometimes you don't quite appreciate irony in the moment. Time has to pass, and you have to reflect. Idiots. This is the power that moronic parents can have, with their ill-informed opinions, and misguided egoes.
The 2005 B team, who attended a different weekend, didn't even score a goal at the tournament. Like I said, most parents were just happy to have a coach that shows up, and to see nobody drive five hours and not get a minute of game time. We definitely bonded, as they spent every spare second bitching to me about how they hate the club. Everyone on that team, and many on the club's prized A team went to different clubs the following summer.
For the 2006s, it was St. Patrick's Day weekend. Hence the green hoodies, and my green ears in the photo below. I can't be a good coach, as I'm having too much fun with these kids. The 2006 B team played brilliantly, and were deserved champions. It's hard to keep going sometimes as a player, when you know you are doing the right things, but are getting no reward for it via games and results. This tournament win was great for them.
Players first. Players get the bench, I sit my arse on the ground. Coach always faces the sun.
One of the most important photos I have ever taken. These girls just won the tournament, and played fantastic doing so. They battled hard and I could not be more proud of them. This here is why I don't like using the word "player" because when we do that, many of us are guilty of treating them like they are professional athletes, when they are just kids. And kids like to wear cones on their heads.
When I bought these cones, I thought it would be funny to write "Champion Hat" on them, and make kids wear them when they were acting like idiots. Similar to a dunce hat. The word champion was used similarly to the word special. The kids of all ages thought it was funny. They would ask to wear them. I would have kids wearing cones on their head, follow me to my car, because they didn't want to take them off.
Ironically, they were the first team I had to wear champion hats, and become champions.That irony was not lost on them. They brought it up frequently.
Just to show what a great bunch of kids they were, and to really highlight the bond we had, not long after this tournament, is a day that is marked by Brain Cancer Research as Wear a Hat Day. In 2012, I lost a friend to a brain tumour. Nearly lost another one shortly after that. I had announced that this evening would be Wear a Hat Day at training, and encouraged them to wear the silliest hats they had, while also asking for donations. The night came, and some of them turned up late. There was more hyperactivity than usual. And then they brought it out. A few of them had met up after school, and made me a massive hat. It was a football pitch, complete with grass, lines, and goals. It had an American flag and a British flag, and little cutouts of all the girls and their silly faces.
As someone who has travelled a lot, built and rebuilt lives in weird and wonderful questions, one of the most frequent questions I ask myself is "What if?" The night I met my wife was pure chance. I didn't even want to go out. I almost went home early. I almost didn't enter that club. What would my life be like if we hadn't locked eyes on a crowded dance floor? And with this group of girls, I ask so many "What if?" questions. What if I had had them for my entire two and a half years in Missouri?
Just for a laugh, here's a video from a Spring Break Camp around that time. With the kids involved, my colleague and I turned into typical Missouri coaches. We began to shout a lot of abuse, insults, and pointless instructions at our players. We all struggled to keep a straight face, and fell around laughing after.
It got us in a lot of trouble with the club, as they thought it was aimed at them. It wasn't, but if we are making fun of coaches that are aggressive and shout crap, and you look at such impressions and see yourself, it's probably you, and not the video, that is the problem.
The End
I had recently challenged the players to be creative their their set-pieces. Notice how the two girls run over the ball before Jozy strikes it? I had shown them several videos on creative free kicks, and dedicated a bit of time to demonstrations and allowing them to try and come up with their own in some of the practices.
Eventually, I said goodbye to this death trap of a car
It smelt like swimming pool water, had countless stains, many of its features didn't work, and I found shotgun bullets in the boot (trunk). At least the number plate had my initials on it.
At the end of the club season, as we had announced we were leaving our partner club to make our own club, there were plenty of others also leaving. If they weren't coming with us, they were at least leaving the club. You know how it goes in youth soccer. I won't go into the reasons here, but they were pretty big ones. Valid. A lot of ill-feeling towards people in power at the club. Similar reasons to why we were off. I tried to do all I could to get the girls teams to come with me, which ended in failure. The parents were uncertain of joining a completely brand new club. Uncertain we could pull it off. We had moved twenty minutes east, and were going to train three times a week. For some, that was too much commitment (ironically, some joined clubs even further east than where we were). Some were worried how long I would be in St. Louis, as I now had a fiancee, even though they were well aware I was about to get an eighteen month visa, taking me to February 2020.
Another reason was that we only had twelve players, which they weren't sure was a good number to go into 11v11. I said there were enough good players in the 2006 B team to make a team, but the parents didn't believe me. Trusted my judgement, said I was the best coach ever, but then didn't trust my judgement when I told them to trust my judgement. Were too impatient to wait to see what we picked up at tryouts. As an organisation, we played by the rules; didn't recruit anyone outside the window, didn't announce our independence until the correct date, didn't court any players or send offers to anyone ahead of time. Unfortunately for us, nobody else in St. Louis plays by the rules. Many of these players were signed up by parents and coaches to other clubs before we even were able to announce what we were doing.
I am bitter. I was bitter then, and I was bitter now. I knew how it was going to go. I knew what would happen to their kids. I knew they were better off with me. And in every case I saw, my thoughts were confirmed. Parents make illogical decisions in Missouri, but they are simply prey in an environment full of predators. They don't know what is important. They can't tell. And business models are made off of capitalising on their ignorance. 99% of clubs are equal levels of crap, some just have better sales pitches. Same experience, different uniform. Apart from with me.
Look at me point! That's coaching right there!
Where Next?
We kept some of the girls in some of our programmes, but none at the club, sadly. There were a handful that, much like a bad rash, I just couldn't get rid of. I always wonder about what would have happened if we had managed to keep it together. Some of these videos give a glimpse into that alternate reality.
Here's a video of some of the training and exercises I did with the boys and girls in the summer of 2018. Gives some insight into our training methodology. I promise I did actually coach them, and not just film everything.
Here's a compilation of goals scored at a 6v6 tournament. The goals relevant to this article are those scored by the girls.
Some of the plays, including how the knocked the ball around. Even though I want you to look at the girls, you will definitely see how this philosophy permeates all teams and ages.
In the above possession video, and the below skills video, you may see a skinny number 9 for the girls. Her mum once said one of the saddest things to me. After the club split, and the players went their separate ways, this girl joined another local club. At my first ever game with this team, myself and my colleague noticed this girl as being sheer quality, and unlike anything we had seen in the US before. America just does not produce these players. And we had one. I called her Luka Modric, because that's how she played. Phenomenal. She was the puppet master of our teams. At her new club, though, her mum told me she is hidden out on the wing, because they don't value her size in the middle of the pitch, and that she is banned from passing backwards. I can't deal with this nonsense. I could watch highlights of this girl on repeat all day. Truly one of a kind in this country, and I hope that she can still live up to that potential, even though her value might not always be recognised. What kind of idiot looks at a player with this level of skill and vision, and then hides her? In this tournament, as a small 2006, she was playing against much bigger 2005s and 2004s, and turning them inside out. She was leaving them for dead. She was keeping the ball, drawing in two or three opponents, swiveling away, and then playing defence splitting passes. Just like with a player like Busquets; if you watch the game, you won't see Busquets. If you only watch Busquets, you see the whole game.
And now let's give the keepers some credit. I'll give a shoutout to Reagan, the 2005 keeper who was in goal for this tournament. I know her dad will eventually read this piece. She was a great kid, and someone I loved working with. Even when she went off to another club, she still turned up to everything, and I did a lot of personal goalkeeping work with her, right up until I left Missouri. In this tournament, she was not only phenomenal as a keeper, but was high up on the leaderboard with assists. She came joint top, in eight teams, across all of the players at this 6v6 tournament, with our elite teams. And out of our eight keepers, was third in least goals conceded (shoutout to Mitchell, who conceded four goals in the first half of the first game, and then conceded nothing after that, as our 2003 boys - another brilliant bunch I will write about soon - were tournament champions). We work with our keepers to recognise how and when to play it forward, and also when to be patient and retain. Your job is not just to save, but to also start attacks, rebuild attacks, and be a safe option to play back to. Reagan was part of a group of friends, whose antics and company throughout my time in Missouri (my three years apart from my wife) made it almost bearable. I will be forever grateful for their smiles, laughter, jokes, general silliness, and at times, their great football.
The girl in this picture (right) was one of the best to coach. They were all great, really, but what made her special to me was just how much she was written off by others. Physically, a bit smaller, slower, and weaker compared to others of the same age. But in the long run, it doesn't mean anything. She had a great brain. She picked up concepts quickly, and always wanted to work things out. A very considerate and intelligent player, whose game understanding grew massively. She was one of those dream kids, and this group had many.
She played with the A and the B team. It was mainly the parents who would write her off, as they would, because they look at hustle and speed and fight etc. What they failed to notice was that this girl rarely gave the ball away. Because they can't see it. Because America, contrary to the rest of the footballing world, doesn't reward this type of player.
Another player from that team is every youth coach's dream. Tall, strong, fast, hard working, carries out orders. She came to us halfway through my first season. She hadn't played much football, having not played for about six years. What she had done though, was that she was a serious gymnast. That meant she had great agility, balance, and coordination. I don't want to call her an athlete because that word has lost all meaning in American sport. This girl was also a great kid, who was willing to learn. And because she hadn't played in so long, she had none of the bad habits many of her new teammates had.
Bad habits come from flawed or non-existant decision making frameworks. When it comes to Perceive-Conceive, they don't know what to look for, don't know the principles and constants of the game. Even worse if they have a terrible coach that shouts "If in doubt, kick it out." How these kids grow to conceptualise the game is flawed, inhibiting, and with time, become seriously deep-rooted. It's a real pain in the arse to reverse such damage, and the older they get, the harder it is. This girl took to it like a duck to water. While others will still panicking, not passing backwards, turning without looking, receiving on the wrong foot, this girl was picking it all up and putting it into practice. The only football voice she had in her head was mine, as she had only played so long ago, and her parents were both calm and supportive people. There weren't conflicting narratives or terrible instructions in her mind.
Within months, she had surpassed most of her teammates. She left them for dead. The player to have improved the most in all three of my girls teams. This gave her opportunities to play and train on the 2006 A team. I also brought her in for 2005 B training, and even one game. Part of what allowed her to accelerate her development in such a short time was that even though she was playing how I asked, making great decisions, and showing great positioning, her strength and speed allowed her to easily correct any mistakes she made. Putting her a year up would neutralise those advantages. If she took a bad touch, she could get to the ball first, or fight through her opponents. The other girls on the team, if they took a bad touch, couldn't rely on their strength or speed.
After it all went sideways and we split from the club, this girl who tried to come with us and our unsuccessful endeavour, ended up at another local club. One that preached a similar message to us. With us, she had played in few different positions as she began to learn the game. A few times I was able to watch her at this new club when hanging around at pitches in between my games. She was being played as a central defender. Obviously. Strong, tall, fast, hard working, willing to do anything the coach said. She played at the back and was the team's get out of jail card. Any time the ball was booted over the top, she would run back and get it. Any aerial balls, she could win. Any 1v1s or tight spaces, she could fight through.
Turns out, this club that preaches possession and playing out from the back like we did, forgot to mention on their website, that they only do those things in the attacking third. Once they are seventy yards from their goal, then they will adhere to their philosophy. That meant this girl was instructed to just hoof the ball forward. We made it a point several times to go short and quick on free kicks. It took me months. Players would run away from the ball, backs turned, and the taker would mindlessly boot it at the opposition. I employed a futsal type mindset. We played short, quick, intelligently. It doesn't mean go long if long isn't the right ball, but let's at least make the opposition work for it before we give it back to them. I would see this girl at her new club being told to smash the ball forward at free kicks. She also took their goal kicks too. These idiots don't know what to do with players.
We always wonder why the US doesn't create a Messi or Iniesta type player. I'm starting to think maybe the US does, but they aren't recognised or valued, and then their potential is wasted, and essentially the player is crushed under the weight of US youth soccer. So many late developers, small players, intelligent players, skillful players, all destroyed by their angry gorilla youth coaches, that insist on an outdated style of football, and killing young players' love of the game.
I would see many of my former players, either at games for other clubs, or within our non-club programmes like camp, pickup, and our elite teams, which we took to tournaments. Most of them had picked up so many bad habits. Once when preparing the girls for a 6v6 tournament, in practice, they just kept charging at the player with the ball. Like a bull to the matador. I stopped the session. WTF are you doing? "My coach tells me to do this." Just you or the whole team? "All of us." Well of course. If you're always playing against players with crap first touches, who don't know how to scan, running at them like a bunch of mindless twats could be an effective strategy. But this is not a good way of playing or learning football. It's one of the many examples of teaching players a way to win the game today, but not necessarily a way of being good when you're older.
They would forget how to triangulate, how to jockey, how to scan. They started to become individuals again, who weren't using their brains anymore. They were being drip-fed the blue pill, and I didn't know if I could save them.
WIth some work, and with some of the better players, we were able to dust off the old cobwebs. I could still crank a performance out of them. The earlier videos of the 6v6 clips is evidence of perhaps one of my finest moments in Missouri. Well, Kansas, with the final in Missouri. We had a group of 2005 and 2006 players. Only one had not been trained by me. They knew each other, and they had been taught by me in the same system, so they fit together easily. We were put in a 2004/05 bracket. A little tentative before the tournament, but I had faith in them. We destroyed everyone. Played them off the pitch. I was in awe of what I was watching. If only I still had these girls together with me at the club, training three times a week.
In the final, we played a team of only 2004s. They were huge. Their two coaches were loud and aggressive. The team was fired up. Our girls were a little nervous, and visibly shocked by the opposition. I was expecting a rough start, but always had faith in the team. We went 1-0 down very quickly. The opposition subs were banging on the boards, screaming, while the coach, straining his lungs, was shouting "WHAT'S THE SCORE!!!!!!! GIRLS, WHAT'S THE SCORE!!!!!!" In that way there's always some tosser in Sunday League in England who shouts "It's still nil-nil" moments after your team takes the lead. A few minutes later, with the opposition all over us, first to every ball, they scored a second. More shouting, more banging, and more asking what the score is. We thought it was ridiculous.
This was the cue for my girls to calm down. We had far better footballers on the pitch, we just needed them to come out. And they did. We pulled it back, goal by goal, to be winning 4-2 at half time. The opposition coaches were crucifying their players. I had witnessed my team play with skill, intelligence, and creativity. They were still a little nervous, though. We had two minutes for half time. It's a final, with trophies on the line, and we are playing a team significantly bigger and older, who were going to come out in the second half like a bat out of Hell. So what were my words of wisdom? I sat them down in a circle on the pitch, and got on the ground with them. All smiles. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pen. I had stolen this pen from the hotel. That was the first thing I said to them. We spent the first minute talking about the pen I stole, with them making jokes and firing insults at me for being a thief. Then, for the second minute, I said "You're all good players, you know you are better than them. You're playing great football, and I am so proud of you. Keep this up. You'll get more goals."
This photo wasn't from the final game, but look at the difference in size. This is a 2006 keeping the ball away from a 2004.
It seems silly and irresponsible, but dive into the psychology with me for a minute. Why did I spend a minute talking about a pen I stole from the hotel? To gain their focus, break the tension, calm their nerves, and then gather that focus to establish a connection. The second minute was spent pumping them full of positivity and belief. Our game plan was working. The only thing that was going to stop us was our nerves. The opposition were going to come out flying, but if we kept our nerve and kept the ball, no matter how much they ran and screamed, they wouldn't be able to get the ball off us.
The second goal the opposition scored was their last. We went from 4-2 at half time to 7-2 at full time. To add insult to injury, I ended the game with all my 2006s on the pitch, who still outplayed girls a year older than them. As the second half goals were going in, and we were increasing our distance between us and them, this is when perhaps my proudest moment EVER occurred. It must have been 6-2. The opposition coaches were in stunned silence. They couldn't believe what they were seeing, as they were being outplayed, and out-footballed, by a younger and smaller team. This is when two girls on the bench with me started nudging me, saying "Hey Will, what's the score?" as the began to giggle. Sure, the football achievement was pretty good, but as part of my coaching, I had taught these girls something much more important. They had developed the ability to recognise that the opposition coach was a twat. Not only was he a twat, but he was worthy of ridicule. Once kids have that power, they become unstoppable. The kind of adult screaming "YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T FINISH YOUR MEAT" is no longer scary to them, and no longer occupies any part of their brain. It's an important life skill.
As we collected the trophies, I was filled with pride. The football, yeah, I had contributed to that, but you can only lead a horse to water. More pride was because of how they played and conducted themselves against bigger and older players, and idiot coaches.
"Hey Will, what's the score?" followed by Beavis and Butthead giggles.
My phone background and lock screen.
I saw a few of the girls and their parents before leaving. We went out for lunch. They briefly snuck off. They vandalised my rental car, the day before I had to give it back. I was so proud of them.
It says "Wanker" and then points at where my head would be.
Last bits of advice for Missourian parents?
Don't bitch about your kid being soft if you turn up to a game in a blanket. This match was 50F. Be chilly for an hour. Your kids never leave their comfort zones because they haven't seen you do it.
Soccer isn't their world. Most won't play beyond 13. If they do, few will play beyond high school. If they do, few will play in college. If they do, practically zero nationwide will play ever again. Even for fun. Why? Because you're a nation of sedants, fast approaching the invention of a fridge on wheels. But more importantly, because you, yes you, parents, make the game not fun. They play to get to high school, to get to college, and by then, we've forgotten to enjoy ourselves. Do they watch games on TV? No? No need to spend $300 on new cleats. Do they ask for balls and replica jerseys for birthdays and Christmas? No? No need to hire a personal trainer. Calm down. The picture below is of a college soccer team in front of me at a game between Chicago Red Stars and Utah Royals. Despite the 2019 World Cup finishing recently, and this game having many stars on the field, a lot of the college players sat in front of me were more interested in their phones. Get over yourselves, calm down, and give the game back to the kids, or else they may get to college and not even be interested in the game.
If you see youth coaches doing fitness, run away. Even if the stuff they were doing was good, which it rarely is, it's not done frequently enough to have any real effect. Imagine going to the gym only once a week. Would your fitness improve? Of course not. Football is a game that involves a ball. Therefore, to get good at it, you must involve a ball. Involving a ball to jump over hurdles and do ladders is involving a ball the same way that you're not really having sex with your dog when it humps your leg. There has to be decisions, not simply following a ball round cones or through an obstacle course, with all decisions predetermined by the coach.
The original tweet got taken down due to all the abuse they received.
And next, here's a euphemism for teaching football the way we do, even to kids who are terrible and have no interest. About 90% of you are wasting your money. The other 10% of you are paying too much.
Please, always remember...
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