Why it has not worked out in Singapore.
The job was described to me as an initial three months on probation in Singapore, before a review, and then paid employment, basically working as regional manager in a country within South East Asia. Not only would I be coaching male and female players of all ages, but I would be coaching the coaches and devising standardised session plans for all of the coaches here. I was told I would need to invent a curriculum for the prestigious academy setup they have here. This is all challenging and exciting stuff.
The job was described to me as an initial three months on probation in Singapore, before a review, and then paid employment, basically working as regional manager in a country within South East Asia. Not only would I be coaching male and female players of all ages, but I would be coaching the coaches and devising standardised session plans for all of the coaches here. I was told I would need to invent a curriculum for the prestigious academy setup they have here. This is all challenging and exciting stuff.
I would also have a chance to write content for coaching
courses, deliver and present these courses, and work alongside the FA tutors
when they came out to deliver FA Level One and Level Two. The name Keith Boanas
is one that means a lot to coaches in the UK, as he is highly respected and
well regarded within the industry. I went to one of his workshops last year,
and he was great. Keith’s name is plastered all over the website, and the boss
in Singapore talked about him a lot. I couldn’t wait to start working with this
guy. Trevor Brooking is also supposed to be involved somehow.
The chances for development and growth as a coach seem too
good to pass up. Coaching regularly, different ages and abilities, working with
Keith Boanas, and also writing and delivering an academy curriculum and
coaching courses? Wow! This sounds too good to be true.
Another pull of the job was the travelling to exotic
locations. I had only ever heard good things about Singapore, and its proximity
to other countries means island hopping is a must. I will DEFINITELY get the
chance to work in Malaysia, and I will DEFINITELY get the chance to work in
Indonesia. If all goes well and I stay until April, then I could be sent off to
Australia. I have wanted to go to Australia for years! I’m going to work really
hard to ensure that this becomes a reality.
ASSian Soccer. As funny as that mistake is, the template was lifted straight from my missing World Soccer magazine. This was originally 'Global Soccer' but then changed to Assian. |
I asked if there would be a possibility for one of the many
FA tutors, possibly even Keith Boanas, to assess me while in Singapore. Of
course. They come here all the time. Just book a session with one, and they
will have you assessed right here in Singapore. Excellent. Passing both those
courses, and working abroad at the same time? Nothing will stop me achieving
that!
My First Aid needs renewing, but that’s easy to arrange in
Singapore. I’m sure due to the company’s links with the Singapore FA and
Singapore Premier League teams, arranging this will be no problem whatsoever.
This sounds amazing, and I don’t mind doing it for free for
three months, especially as everything is taken care of. The apartment won’t
quite be luxury, but I will have my own room. Food will be provided, and
transport will be paid for. Not bad. I only need money for going out, but who
needs to go out when I will have access to a pool and a gym? There’s non-stop
football on TV, and I’ll also be playing football regularly! These three months
are going to fly by!
On top of that, I’m going to be regularly writing for the
website, and there’s even the possibility of becoming a radio commentator in
Malaysia. English Soccer School are the BEST coaching company in Singapore.
They have links to professional teams here, and advise the Singapore Football
Association on decisions regarding youth development. And they want me to come
out, live in paradise, and become an integral part of it? I should have left
Canada sooner!
There will be a good coach from Japan coming to stay with us
for a while, as well as a coach from Deportivo La Coruna, who will deliver a
few courses. I will get the chance to work with them, and even help deliver
this course. And then Ted Dale (one of my former assessors), the man who once
had England and Chelsea captain John Terry as a young player, will be coming
out to stay. Think of the minds! Think of the learning opportunities! Think of
the stories!
They stole this from our academy website! |
Regular contact on Skype is keeping me keen. I can’t wait to
get out there and get stuck in to Singapore. Now I’m being asked if I can come
out earlier, but I politely inform the boss my contract with Challenger doesn't
finish until the end of August. I can’t rearrange my fight to Singapore with
British Airways without costing lots of money. Plus I wanted to see family and
friends. But there’s a session with an adult team, and they really want me.
It’s a shame I can’t get there earlier and get started with them.
I had to cut the hellos and goodbyes short with family,
friends, Adam and the cat. I was home Monday and off again Friday. But my
family and friends could easily come visit me in Singapore. If there’s room in
the apartment, they can come stay for free. The flight was delayed by an hour
or so, trouble with the plane’s electrics at Heathrow. I hope that doesn’t
reflect badly on me. I don’t want to keep my new boss waiting.
A long sleep on the plane and some good movies, and before
you know it, I can see lots of ships and islands out the window. Here I am,
finally, in South East Asia. It’s new, magical and mystical. And it’s all for
me. I arrive at the airport, and after saying I have arrived, I receive a text
saying ’10 mins late’. He’s going to be ten minutes late? Not bad. Perhaps he
had checked out my flight time and saw the hour delay, so set off an hour
later. Then I receive another text, this time saying twenty minutes. He must be
a really busy and important guy, or the traffic is bad.
Around forty five minutes later, the boss arrives. He
thought I was at Terminal 3 rather than Terminal 1, showing that he hadn’t
actually looked up my flight details, and that he was just very late. He told
me on Skype that he doesn’t tolerate lateness, but we all say things we don’t
mean. Let’s go to Burger King, actually no, let’s not. Let’s just get a taxi
back instead. No car? No worries. I’ve met plenty of nice people that don’t
drive. Whilst waiting for a taxi, much like a lawyer chasing an ambulance, he
handed a business card to a mother who was with her two sons. Smooth.
Thinking back to an earlier conversation on Skype, I might
have to share my room with another coach for a while, then it will be mine. He
is leaving soon, so no big deal. In the taxi I was told that my room in fact
has two coaches in there. I’m trying to figure out if there will be room for me
in my own room. I’m allowed to put my stuff in there, and we can roll a
mattress out on the floor for me for the first week. I told them that I snore
really loud and that I would be a burden on the others. I’ll just sleep on the
sofa. I spent every subsequent night on that sofa.
We arrive at the apartment. No sign of the pool or gym yet,
but they must be close. Oh, by the way, he has a doctor from Pakistan staying
in one of the rooms for free, because he is a nice guy, and this doctor had no
money and no friends. Is that my room? Could that have been my room? The most
interaction I had with this doctor was saying good morning at around half six
when he used to get up every morning and walk past the sofa, to go into the
bathroom and violently hack his lungs up for twenty minutes. You think a doctor
might know a bit more about bronchitis, emphysema and lung cancer.
The apartment itself was on the 8th floor. Not
that I am an expert like on CSI, but the bars on the doors and windows did
alarm me a bit. Who is he trying to keep out? More like who is he trying to
keep in? A warm welcome to a new place is always full of… stuff. Lots and lots
of stuff. Footballs, bibs, cones, pumps, t-shirts. I’m living in a Challenger
rental car. It’s only temporary. The storage place across town… across town? We
store our equipment across town? Doesn’t that mean getting up at five,
travelling a long way, then hauling lots of crap to a session before hauling it
all back again, via a connecting series of buses, trains and taxis? I’m not
here to strategically plan a supply raid.
Forget this. I just want to get settled in. Don’t leave the
lights on, and you can only have air conditioning on at night. It must be
turned off at eight in the morning, or else it costs too much. He’s running a
business. It’s only natural to be concerned about money. How about my
induction? Where is the grand tour of Sembawang? Well, this is the mall, and he
takes me out to the food court to have what everybody knows is my favourite,
Chinese food. All the while, he is telling me that he hopes they can live up to
my expectations. My expectations? Like I’m some incredible coach that they are
lucky to have. I was half expecting him to go under the table for me like
Michelle did for Jim in American Pie. At least I feel valued.
All the other coaches, by the way, are incoherent degenerate
morons that have been plucked straight from the council estate. They’ve been
crying out for someone like me to come in and really shape things up. Why would
you hire these idiots in the first place? Not my place to judge a company hiring
policy. It’s my job to make these guys better coaches.
That men’s team I was told about that wanted me out earlier
had decided they didn’t want us to work with them anymore. Because I couldn’t
get out there earlier, the boss had to send the other two coaches to do what
was my session. They messed it up big time. Now they didn’t want us back. Of
course this wouldn’t have happened if I
had come out earlier though. That was my chance of completing the UEFA B gone
for the time being.
I met the two other coaches that were staying with me very
briefly on the first night there. They’re in my room, and they’re both
incompetent morons (as I was told by my boss). How is that supposed to shape my
first impression of them? They seemed okay, but I was still suspicious. Some
thick people are clever at hiding it. We were going to have a meeting, but that
never happened. Time to make friends with the sofa.
It’s time for a shower. I’ve been travelling for ages, it’s
hot and sticky, and I probably smell really bad. The shower was the bathroom.
The toilet and sink were not separated from the shower by doors or windows. One
has to shower really close in the corner, and hope to not spray the towels. By
the way, this is taking ages to warm up. Twenty minutes of fiddling with the tap
and putting my hand under the water, I then realised that despite the
optimistic red and blue colouring on the faucet, hot water was only a myth.
Well, time for bonerkill.
Waking up, I thought what do I know about Singapore? What do
I know about Sembawang? How about my boss or the other coaches? Are there any
rules to the apartment? Is there anything I shouldn’t do in public that might
cause offence or get me arrested? They say Singapore is a FINE city. I spent
most of the first forty eight hours on that sofa, waiting for someone to do
something with me, show me where to go, tell me what’s cool in Singapore.
On the Sunday morning, the boss asked me out to watch some
of the locals play a game of football at the beautiful astroturf that was just
outside our building. What a great chance to experience the weather, see the
facilities and get an idea of the skill level that I will be working with. Not
long before leaving, the other two coaches tell me that they are going out into
the city and invite me to come. I would love to go explore and see things, but
I’m going to be watching the matches down here with the boss. I couldn’t ask
these guys to wait for me, so I told them to go without me. The boss and I
walked down there, meeting a parrot along the way. All in all, we watched about
ten minutes of football, then he handed out some business cards, and we went
back inside. When we got in, the other guys had gone, and I was left alone in
the apartment, on my second day, for about six hours. Fun fun fun.
We had no Level Three coaches. We were all Level One or Two. |
I still have no real idea about the session, how it is going
to run, what exactly I need to do, but I’m good enough to adapt and to make it
on the spot, so that doesn’t faze me. Though I must admit that I was a little
concerned about the lack of organisation. I meet the boss in town and we are
travelling together. If I had known we had so far to go and so much time on the
journey, I would have brought a means of entertainment along with me to keep my
mind stimulated. Now along the many bus and train journeys to our destination,
I’m beginning to feel a bit of a rumble in my stomach. Not good. Un cool. It’s
my first day. I spent the session on the toilet, and when I wasn’t unloading my
guts, I was waiting in the cool and the shade near the toilet. What a great
start. After a couple of squirts in the thunderbox I was beginning to feel a
lot better, but I needed food, water and Imodium.
To his credit, the boss did seem very concerned. We had
three other coaches there, so me not taking part was no big deal. On the way
back, he suddenly decided that he had to go to a meeting. We discussed the
options about getting me home from a part of the city that I had never seen
before, and I told him I could figure it out okay. I wanted to explore
downtown, and I could smell a Wendy’s. Sitting there eating my Baconator, I
decided that I really liked Singapore. It’s warm, clean, friendly, and I am a
giant among the native population. Who wouldn’t enjoy that? I looked around the
shops and got a feel for the place. I found the House of Condom, and decided
that there are more condoms in the front window that a man can use in his whole
life.
That night after getting in, one of the other coaches I was
staying with invited me to go workout. There was a play area gym set nearby.
The only good thing was the bar from which one could execute chin-ups. It was
there that he asked me what I thought so far and if I was enjoying it. I told
him that it appeared to be okay, though I had a few concerns about the
unorganisation, the constant changing of minds, how we are sometimes left to
fend four ourselves, that I didn’t believe some of the promises were going to
be kept, and that I had no induction whatsoever. He told me he wasn’t enjoying
it, wanted to go home, and had arranged his flight for the following weekend.
The boss had promised him a few things that clearly weren’t going to happen,
and that they had had one or two fall outs. Did I mention that you weren’t
supposed to fraternise with the other coaches? The boss doesn’t like it. News to me!
Now it’s Tuesday, and I have hardly slept at all gain. Today
I’m going to be working with a coach that I have been told is a complete moron,
is an idiot, and need spoon feeding for his coaching. I need to write sessions
for this guy to deliver because he is such a doughnut. I had to meet him in
town at a train station. No idea what he looks like, no number to contact.
Fortunately he is waiting for me as I get off the train. He can recognise me in
my uniform. We’re walking out and we bump into two of the coaches from
yesterday. One is from Liverpool and one is from Wales. They were both leaving
very soon and were enjoying their last few days on the island. They ask me what
I think, and I say that I am enjoying it, and then we say our goodbyes.
The trip to this session was far longer than the one
yesterday as we are going from the complete North to the complete South of
Singapore. Buses, trains, and even a marathon eventually get us to our
destination, but not after stopping past the office where we meet the two
ladies who do our registration, kit orders, and handle the money. Apparently I
need to learn how to fill out registration forms properly because everyone else
around is an idiot. I don’t really want to do any admin work – I’m a coach. I
don’t want to ever work in an office. I don’t mind ticking names off a sheet as
they show up, but I suppose it is only ten minutes. I can handle that.
A picture of Keith signing an autograph. |
I watched this guy coach and even joined in a bit. I’ve got
to say that he is one of the best coaches I have seen that works with such
young kids. Usually coaches struggle with toddlers and those up to around six
years old, but this guy was able to talk to them, communicate effectively, had
great use of the whistle, played fun games that were also good for learning,
and did it all with a big smile on his face. In what way does this guy need
help?
After a couple of hours coaching (plus the ninety minute
meeting and the hour travelling), I’m starting to run out of Oreos and water. I
assumed we were only going to be a couple of hours. He told me that we still
had ages to go. Oh. Thanks Boss. Don’t tell me stuff. That’s cool. I just put
it down to experience and said that I won’t make the same mistake next week.
Halfway through our long trek back across the country, we
meet the two coaches from earlier. I got the feeling that they deliberately
intercepted us on our journey. They seemed like they had a purpose and invited
us back to their condo where they were staying, paid for by the company. I was
a bit hungry so only wanted to stay a short while. The four of us walked to
their apartment complex and my jaw hit the ground. Security, lights, palm
trees, beautiful swimming pool. It looked like the kind of place you see in
brochures, yet they were complaining about it. I couldn’t understand why. I was
told that I may be moved there from the boss, and now I wanted it so badly.
They didn’t take us to their apartment, but instead to another pool on the
roof. It was secluded and relaxing, and just amazing.
These two coaches talked with the two of us for hours, and
what they told me confirmed even more of my suspicions. They told us that they
spend all their time up here on the roof by the pool because it is so bad
inside their apartment. How? Look at this place. Well, they share a room. Not
so bad though, until you find that it has about three or four bedrooms. Each
one has several people or a family living in it. One of them even has a baby in
there. They’re packed in like sardines with people they don’t know, and with
whom they don’t share a language. Can you imagine what that will be like?
As for the coaching side of things, they told me that they
were made the same promises, they were painted the same happy picture about how
brilliant working for this company will be. None of what they were told came
true, and that they are never coming back. They asked me about my experience
and qualifications, and when I told them, one of them said, his exact words
“You’ve got a degree and you’re on your B License, get the fuck out of here.
You’re only going to go backwards”. He explained that he is a level two coach,
and that the sessions we will be teaching will hardly even be level one
sessions. The kids are not very good, not their fault, but they do not need
coaches that are as good as us.
We all came to Singapore to become better coaches. We
thought we would be learning from Keith Boanas, we thought we would be teaching
a good standard of player, we thought we would design sessions, write coaching
courses, and deliver them with FA tutors. We thought we would improve as
coaches, and become a big player in a great company. They told me to get out as
quick as I can.
One thing I found rather interesting was that out of those
two coaches, one of them was being paid $500 per month. The rest of us were on
probation. I had a lot to think about, and I was very hungry. I ended up in a
McDonald’s considering my options. I was now fairly certain that I was going to
leave early and not stay the three months. I had thought about staying for a
month, about going to Australia, and maybe trying to complete a coaching course
while there. Since I’m over this side of the world, why not try to make the
most of it?
Sitting there, chewing on my double quarter pounder, two of
the other coaches came in. It was now fairly late, but still busy. I continued
from my conversation on Monday night with one of the coaches, and the new
Japanese coach was listening intently. Where had I been? I was honest, and told
them everything the other two coaches told me. The Japanese coach couldn’t
believe it. He told us that he was paying $1000 per month to live in the
apartment and learn about coaching. He was going to learn from us and gain the
company’s own version of a Level One coaching certificate. He was in fact
sleeping on the sofa adjacent to mine, and watching Level Two coaches execute
basic sessions. He had been thoroughly duped into coming to Singapore. Talking
to these guys, I lost all motivation and desire to stay working for this
company. I had to leave as soon as possible.
So now the operation began. I’m supposed to be here for
three months, working for free and living in crap. Cold showers, no food,
travelling hours per day by public transport to get to sessions. There was
clearly no chance of me finishing my qualifications like I had been promised. I
wasn’t going to get to work with the men’s team like I was told, there were no
links with the Singapore FA, and there were no links with any professional
teams. The prestigious academy programme was not working with advanced kids,
but in fact a moneymaking scheme. The other coaches were leaving, so I was
going to be on my own a lot more. I would very soon run out of money, and not
be able to do the wonderful excursions that I planned to do. I felt lied to and
cheated. I felt like an idiot.
I returned to the apartment and immediately looked up
hotels, flights, and anything else I could think of. Should I stay for a week
or so and make the most out of my first ever trip to Asia? I couldn’t afford
it, and if I stayed any longer, it would be harder to find a job when I
returned home. I got in contact with my parents via Skype and Facebook, and we
got planning. I booked a hotel, and now just needed to somehow pack my stuff
and leave.
Stolen straight from the Coerver coaching DVD - Make Your Move. |
I told one of the coaches I was staying with that I was off, but I didn’t want the other two to know. The more people that know, the more likely it might slip. The less people know, the more convincing the lie. But how was I going to escape? I needed to pack three months worth of clothes, shoes and football boots, and get out unnoticed. I didn’t sleep at all that night, thinking over and over again about how I could leave.
The boss quite often goes out for food, but then that might
only be ten minutes, and what about the awkward situation of when he bumps into
me as I’m leaving with my bags packed? Maybe I should be honest and tell him I’m
not enjoying it and need to leave. Perhaps I could lie and say that there has
been a family tragedy, but then I’m not a convincing liar.
Due to lack of sleep and food, added to the hot and humid
climate, I looked like a mess. I looked ill. Given a few hours of sleep and a
meal, I would have been fine again. This appeared to work to my advantage as
the boss was starting to think that I wasn’t very well. I decided to play on
this. Maybe I could tell him that I’m too ill to go to today’s session and then
sneak out while he is gone. That might be an awkward conversation to have, but
then I am not under contract. I am here voluntarily. I can leave when I want.
At the request of the boss, I went to lie down on one of the beds. This was my
first bed in Singapore. The coaches who didn’t know were concerned, but through
a series of whispers, I explained to them that I was leaving. I had a hotel
booked for the night, and a plane for the next day. Excellent. They were
thrilled. I told them just to go along with it. They didn’t know I was leaving,
and as far as they were concerned, I just looked a bit ill.
There were still around three or four hours left until the
session. What was I going to do until then? The boss talked about the academy
programme, and told me his plan for my session. I was brought in to take
control of this academy, but I don’t care anymore. Let’s spend a whole hour
teaching them a basic skill. That’s money well spent. I’m thinking of having
kids as soon as possible, just to be able to send them to this academy and hand
my money over.
It’s now close to two o’clock. I had managed to sleep for a
couple hours, but I needed to keep up the illusion. I laid in bed in a pathetic
position, doing my best to look like a rotting carcass. If the boss comes in to
check on me, at least it will look authentic. In fact, he left. He went out
twenty minutes early with another coach because they had to pick up equipment
on the way. Really? He didn’t want to check to see if I was okay? I didn’t
care. I was off. I packed my bags in record time. What would happen if he had
forgotten something and had to come back quick for it? “I’m just rearranging my
stuff, I think it looks better like this”.
I left the apartment with the remaining coach. We said our
goodbyes, and I wished him luck for his remaining week. I told him that he didn’t
know anything, and I had opted to stay behind because I was too ill to go to
the session. Dragging my big heavy bags, I attempted to walk to the train
station. I got less than one hundred yards and realised that I wasn’t quite
sure where I was going. It was boiling hot and I had two heavy bags with me.
Waiting in the shade and calling a taxi seemed like the best idea. I had the
hotel numbers, four taxi numbers, a train route planned, and even parts I had
to walk with a step by step guide. My plan was bulletproof.
As typical in Singapore, you have to make several phone
calls to finally get through to a taxi. Booking it and waiting for it felt like
an eternity. It probably wasn’t that long, but it represented freedom. Finally
it came, and I could have kissed the driver. The trip by taxi was fairly
efficient, but I was dreading the cost. To my surprise, it was very cheap. I
got to the hotel, went to my room, and that was it. I was free.
This is the summary of the web of lies, deceit and
manipulation that has been thrown over myself and other coaches.
Coaches are told that they are on an initial unpaid three
month probation period. They are told that if they impress, the contract
thereon will be lucrative. This is to have coaches working for free, and with
such a great incentive, they will work to a high standard.
The boss wants to give up the coaching and focus on just the
business side of things. This will mean that he gets more coaches in, and does
less work, yet takes all the money.
Pictures of Keith Boanas and Trevor Brooking are used to
make the company seem much more official. Trevor Brooking has nothing to do
with it, and Keith Boanas comes to Singapore once a year for a week.
We are not given a work visa for the following reasons: it
will cost the company money, he will have to pay us, he will have to insure us,
he won’t be able to move us around to other countries as and when he wants, and
more importantly, we will have someone to complain to within the government
that we are being exploited.
The courses that the company runs are worth as much as the
paper they are printed on. Even so, we would get to execute only one per year,
nowhere near as many as the impression we were given. And nowhere near as
important as he made out.
The coaches are told that the other coaches are incompetent idiots,
and that the company is very lucky to have you here. “We hope that we can live
up to your expectations” to make us feel big and important. The boss regularly
slagged off and insulted coaches behind their backs. He also told the coaches
not to mingle or socialise. Why was this? So that we wouldn’t talk to each
other and find out the false promises and lies that we had been told each
other. We were kept separate.
Just a pure load of crap. |
Whatever we asked for, we were told we were going to get.
That was just a way of getting us out there. He would lie and make whatever
promise he could. If we had any concerns or reservations, he would lie and say
that it was all going to be fine.
The kids in the sessions have to buy kit. Why? It’s more
money.
The standard of kids was awful. Not their fault, but we were
told we would be coaching kids of a competitive standard. The Academy was a
farce, and was just setup to exploit parents and make money.
We were told there were links with professional teams, and
that the company advised the Singapore FA on matters. None of this was true. If
you were to go to the Singapore Football Association, you would not encounter
anyone who had heard of the company.
If you're there for long enough, the boss makes you run errands, such as picking up equipment and getting food. Why? We're not being paid to do that. We're not being paid at all.
On the weekends, when doing the morning sessions, you would
have to leave at five in the morning, and get on a series of buses, trains and
taxis. This was because the company had no car, and because most of the
equipment was stored at a place the other side of the city. They weren’t paying
me enough to get up early and go through all that.
I don’t mind working for free if I am living in a great
place, gaining tons of experience, and becoming a better coach. I don’t mind
doing a crap job and living in a hole if I am getting paid a lot. I do mind
flying to the other side of the world, being promised a dream job, taking lots
of injections and paying for a flight, and then finding out it is all a lie.
Since packing my bags and leaving, the boss has not tried to make contact with
me once. For all he knows, I could be dead down a back alley somewhere. Instead,
he has listed the job again on the website we all applied through. I will make
it my mission to ensure that no one is again lied to like we are. We don’t want
another poor coach going through what we have. We don’t want our former boss to
make another cent off the sweat and hard work off exploited coaches, stealing
the money from the pockets of rich and gullible parents. And I will let Keith
Boanas know that his face is all over it. I wouldn’t want to be associated in
any way with this business.
The only picture I took inside the apartment, because the rest of it was so bad. |
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