Pavlov's United

Pavlov’s United

In all walks of life, it seems like the idiots have the loudest mouths. This means that they are heard far more often than those around them. How many times have you been in public and overheard something intelligent? As humans, we are victims to our environment. We are puppets to our circumstances. This sometimes leads to external sources making our decisions for us.

An inexperienced player in a game is very obvious. They look like a deer caught in the headlights. They cannot think or react fast enough, and therefore they will be more than open to suggestions. Any youth coach will be far too familiar with the advice from parents, and will probably grimace as past memories come into mind.

Parents seem to be the root of all problems in youth football, but let’s not forget that parents will give up their free time to sit in the rain and watch two teams that are incredibly far away from Chelsea and Bayern Munich. Some of them will even help out, share lifts, run the line, so are they really that bad? Encouragement is always appreciated, yet advice needs to be taken with a pinch of salt. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but some bear more weight than others. Would you walk into a cockpit and tell a pilot how to fly better? Unless you are a better pilot, you probably wouldn't.

Where parents, with all the will in the world, cross the boundary from Help to Hinder, is when they start to yell instructions at the players. A coach can work hard all week trying to improve their players, and yet it can be undone within minutes. The players will understand it in training, then execute what they have learnt in training to a very high standard, yet it is not seen on matchdays.

My colleague and I have been attempting to improve the passing and moving of many different age groups at our club. We have seen an improvement in both training and matches, but we still feel it is being held back. In the last few weeks, we have heard and seen some cringeworthy examples. We are fighting against the Turn and Boot It philosophy. Either they think it is illegal to pass backwards, or perhaps they are allergic.

One parent told off their kid for passing the ball backwards. This was not an England midfield type of backwards pass, but one that was the best and only option. I saw a girl about to take a throw-in. A player on her team moved to give her an option behind. This player was completely unmarked and in lots of space, but a parent instructed her to “throw it up the line!”. Upon hearing this, the girl turned away from her teammate, and threw the ball at two opponents.

It’s dreadful, and if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I would not believe it. The parents don’t want their kid to be the moron who loses the ball in front of goal, so all they tell them to do is to; hoof it, boot it, shoot it, clear it, get it out of there, kick it out, and send it up the field. We can mostly agree that parents are a huge influence in a kid’s life, so they listen and do as they are told. Nine times out of ten, this relinquishes possession. Giving the ball away so cheaply should be a crime.

Upon seeing a child launch the ball sixty yards through the air to an opponent, the parent will shout “Good job!”. No. Bad job. The ball has just been lost, the other team now has the ball, and you are praising your child. Can you see the problem here? The players are doing something wrong, and yet they are getting a positive reaction. So what are they going to do? Whether it’s right or wrong, they are going to keep doing the thing that they are getting praised for. They are being conditioned to play like idiots.

It’s a bit like punching yourself in the face for money. It won’t help you one bit, but you’ll keep doing it because you are being rewarded. You might one day ask yourself “Why am I so ugly?” (why do we keep losing?) But you can’t answer that yourself, because you have been conditioned to believe what you are doing is the right thing.

So parents. Thanks for bringing the kids to the game, thanks for paying their subs, and thanks for the night of passion that lead to their conception, but unless you’re a Premier League manager, just stick to the Wimbledon applause.