Pavlov’s United
In all walks of life, it seems like the idiots have the
loudest mouths. This means that they are heard far more often than those around
them. How many times have you been in public and overheard something
intelligent? As humans, we are victims to our environment. We are puppets to
our circumstances. This sometimes leads to external sources making our
decisions for us.
An inexperienced player in a game is very obvious. They look
like a deer caught in the headlights. They cannot think or react fast enough,
and therefore they will be more than open to suggestions. Any youth coach will
be far too familiar with the advice from parents, and will probably grimace as
past memories come into mind.
Parents seem to be the root of all problems in youth
football, but let’s not forget that parents will give up their free time to sit
in the rain and watch two teams that are incredibly far away from Chelsea and
Bayern Munich. Some of them will even help out, share lifts, run the line, so
are they really that bad? Encouragement is always appreciated, yet advice needs
to be taken with a pinch of salt. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but some
bear more weight than others. Would you walk into a cockpit and tell a pilot
how to fly better? Unless you are a better pilot, you probably wouldn't.
Where parents, with all the will in the world, cross the
boundary from Help to Hinder, is when they start to yell instructions at the
players. A coach can work hard all week trying to improve their players, and
yet it can be undone within minutes. The players will understand it in
training, then execute what they have learnt in training to a very high
standard, yet it is not seen on matchdays.
My colleague and I have been attempting to improve the
passing and moving of many different age groups at our club. We have seen an
improvement in both training and matches, but we still feel it is being held
back. In the last few weeks, we have heard and seen some cringeworthy examples.
We are fighting against the Turn and Boot It philosophy. Either they think it
is illegal to pass backwards, or perhaps they are allergic.
One parent told off their kid for passing the ball
backwards. This was not an England midfield type of backwards pass, but one
that was the best and only option. I saw a girl about to take a throw-in. A
player on her team moved to give her an option behind. This player was
completely unmarked and in lots of space, but a parent instructed her to “throw
it up the line!”. Upon hearing this, the girl turned away from her teammate,
and threw the ball at two opponents.
It’s dreadful, and if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I
would not believe it. The parents don’t want their kid to be the moron who
loses the ball in front of goal, so all they tell them to do is to; hoof it,
boot it, shoot it, clear it, get it out of there, kick it out, and send it up
the field. We can mostly agree that parents are a huge influence in a kid’s
life, so they listen and do as they are told. Nine times out of ten, this
relinquishes possession. Giving the ball away so cheaply should be a crime.
Upon seeing a child launch the ball sixty yards through the
air to an opponent, the parent will shout “Good job!”. No. Bad job. The ball
has just been lost, the other team now has the ball, and you are praising your
child. Can you see the problem here? The players are doing something wrong, and
yet they are getting a positive reaction. So what are they going to do? Whether
it’s right or wrong, they are going to keep doing the thing that they are
getting praised for. They are being conditioned to play like idiots.
It’s a bit like punching yourself in the face for money. It
won’t help you one bit, but you’ll keep doing it because you are being
rewarded. You might one day ask yourself “Why am I so ugly?” (why do we keep
losing?) But you can’t answer that yourself, because you have been conditioned
to believe what you are doing is the right thing.
So parents. Thanks for bringing the kids to the game, thanks
for paying their subs, and thanks for the night of passion that lead to their
conception, but unless you’re a Premier League manager, just stick to the
Wimbledon applause.
