Part
1
How
do you cope with failure? – Failure is necessary, although
sometimes difficult to take. I calm down and remind myself of the bigger
picture. Reassess and see if changes
need to be made. I try to stick to the plan, and always work towards that end
goal. We have to accept that we can’t win all the time, and that you can play
the game of your life and still lose. Sometimes it’s just not your day, but you
shouldn’t lose sight of that end goal, and keep striving to achieve it.
How
do you handle pressure and adversity? –Very well. There isn’t a
person alive who hasn’t had to deal with pressure and adversity, it’s just some
see it as a learning opportunity or a challenge to overcome, and others take
glory and comfort in the sympathy of others for the bad things that happen to
them. Crying about it won’t get me there. Sympathy will not help me. When
adversity is experienced as a group, you can use it to bind you together, and
to strengthen you as a unit. Shared adversity gives you something in common
that can ignite a fire within. I handle pressure with confidence. The situation
or the environment should not and does not dictate how I will act. I only
consider what is necessary, and disregard that which holds no bearing.
How do you exhibit patience and persistence? – With constant reminders of the key performance indicators. If achieving your goals was easy, it would be no fun. You will have to make mistakes, you will have to fail, and you will have to experience pain. I know that, and I also know that it is all worth it for what I want to gain. We must continue, despite the setbacks that come our way. I do not lose my temper (though I sometimes pretend I have to get a reaction out of the players) and remain clear of thought, often free of emotion. A loss is annoying, and a setback is frustrating, but if you give up, you don’t deserve that success you want. Winners never quit, and quitters never win.
How do you create balance in your life each day? – I believe I am bad at this, as I feel like I am always in coaching mode. My phone is always close by, and I am always quick to respond to team matters. I go to the gym five or six times a week, I practice my languages, I read, go out socially, and try to adhere to a timetable and a structure. I definitely need to be far better at letting time go by and not worrying so much.
How do you give respect to others? – By being honest, upfront, genuine, humble. I lead how I believe I would like to be lead. My game is not to belittle or embarrass players, but to set the bar high, and make them truly believe that they can get there, if they put their mind to it. I don’t lie. The truth is the easiest thing to remember, and we have lots to remember as coaches. Actions do speak louder than words, and where some players may think I am hard at the beginning, they will release I care about them when they begin to notice the little things, like the encouragement, the support, and the level of preparation. Some players act disrespectfully, but if you retaliate with disrespect, then you are just as bad. Counter it with respect, so you are not in the wrong. Be polite and lead by example.
How do you deal with criticism? – Ascertain where it is coming from and why they may be saying it. I was bullied a lot as a kid, which created a quiet and shy nature. I had to develop a thick skin. There’s two main ways that I deal with criticism, and it really does depend on the source. Is it a parent whose kid didn’t play? They’re upset and emotional, I know best, I always act fairly and with the interest of the kids at heart, so ignore it. Any threats to my integrity as a human being are swiftly ignored. I know 100% that I am doing things as fairly as I know. If the criticism concerns my ability, then it depends on the credentials of who is saying it. When it comes from a less experienced coach or someone who doesn’t coach at all, I am polite, but it goes in one ear and out the other. If it comes from someone I respect and admire, then I am all ears. Tutors and assessors are great sources of knowledge. We have to listen to that kind of criticism as it can help us get better. Soon I will embark on a very important high level coaching course. I want them to criticise me. I want them to find ways in which I can improve. Then I will take measures to make that a reality.
How do you make good decisions? – By following a structure. I like to plan so that decisions are made rationally and with good knowledge, rather than in the heat of the moment, often blinded by adrenaline. Where possible, I like to have plans to cover a variety of different angles. If X happens, we do Y. This eliminates worry and frees up processing room in your brain by not having it filled with needless decisions. We can’t analyse every single piece of relevant information right there and then as it happens, but we can plan for eventualities. When having to make in the moment decisions, I do not let emotion filter in. I sometimes wonder if Spock would have made a good coach. Many have said I am too calm, and likened me to a computer or a robot. It’s not often you see someone make a good decision while yelling and screaming.
How do you show that you care? – I put my life and soul into it. That has to count for something? I lead by example, which shows I am vested in the program. I am always there for the players and have gone out of my way to deal with issues that affect the team. Where I can make a difference, I do. Whether that is staying up late to design an individual fitness regime that may not be used, giving up my free time to meet a player and parent after an emotional vital loss, giving up my own time and money to make things better in crisis, and sending texts and calls asking about injured players, just to see how they are feeling. It’s difficult with work and other commitments to always be the first there and the last to leave, but I do that where possible. I have on many occasions spent an hour with players after training simply because they asked for advice on the way back to the car. I think that not all my players would say they feel cared about, but actions speak louder than words. I try to go above and beyond in every area. Players do need to feel cared for, but I do bend over backwards enough as it is. Sometimes neglecting other important areas of my life.
How do you celebrate? – Calmly. The job is never done. There is always another game. Even when you win the championship, how long is it until you begin your defence of that title? The moments of joy after so much sacrifice and only last a few seconds. It sounds like a completely unsatisfying quest that has no end. After winning the World Cup, players want to go back in four years’ time to try again. They say it’s not as good as the first, but they are trying to relive that high. That sounds like an addiction. I suppose it is.
How do you accept responsibility for your actions? - Never blaming the field, conditions, officials, luck. Always looking within. Always asking what could we, or what could I have done better. Believing firmly that we are responsible for our own destiny. With my youth teams, to relieve the pressure from the players amidst a large horde of screaming parents, I tell them “When we win, it’s credit to the players. When we lose, it’s my fault.” When I know I’ve made a mistake, I’m quick to apologise.
Part
2
Why do we exist? – My team is the reserve team, so we are looking to create players who are capable of playing for the first team. We take in younger players, we help rehabilitate injured first team players, and if anyone consistently performs highly for us, or the first team have a gap in their squad, they will be looking for our players to step up and fill in.
What is our purpose? – As a club, our purpose is to provide high level soccer to each one of our girls. We take them in at a young age and progress them through the age groups with the aim of creating players that are capable to represent us at a high competitive level. We want our first team to progress through the leagues and become one of the top sides in the country, and to do that, we must create players who are tactically and technically proficient.
Who
are our stakeholders and what do they value? – We have
parents, sponsors, and a small group of fans. The parents that have to pay for
their daughters to play at a young age want to see quality coaching,
competitive fixtures, good facilities, and that their daughter is given a fair
chance to improve and demonstrate her skills. The sponsors wish the spread
their brand recognition, but appear to be here mainly to see the club progress.
I feel that they have a vested interest, mainly as they have friends and family
members within the club. Seeing their brand on the front of our shirts is
obviously good for business, but more important for them is seeing the players
perform well and enjoy themselves. The fans, largely made of family, friends,
and a small amount of people in the community, are going to games for moral
support to the person they know. We are not a well-known team, and women’s
soccer is not popular. We certainly don’t have any ultras or hooligan factors.
What
is value to the student-athlete? – Our players are not
student athletes as we represent a club rather than a college. The value to
them is that they get to pursue an interest and a passion. Women’s soccer is
increasing in popularity thanks to the success of the professional league and
the third place finish of England women in the 2015 World Cup. Some may wish to
progress to higher levels when they are older. Some players enjoy playing at
the competitive level we are currently at. For some, it also provides a social
life and a means of keeping fit.
What
should our mission be? – To create players that will improve
and support the first team, aiding them in their endeavour to progress through
the leagues to become one of the best in the country. Whether we realise it or
not, we can also be an example to disenfranchised girls and women out there,
showing that women have every right to play soccer, despite the outdated view
that it is a man’s sport. Success on the field will help that, but we could
make it part of our mission to reach out to schools and establish links within
the community.
Part
3
Why
do I coach? – I coach because I love the sport. I am
totally immersed in all things soccer. I am a passionate fan, I have been a
dedicated player, I am a referee, and all this manifests itself into the coach
within me. I love the thrill of the challenge, and the journey that we embark
upon as a group. Whatever the task ahead, I want to take my team from where
they are, towards their potential. I have chosen this as a career because I
wouldn’t see the point in getting up every day to work with people I don’t
like, for a cause I don’t believe in, to make someone who doesn’t care about me
a richer man. I don’t want the same, I don’t want the mundane, I don’t want the
comfortable or the easy. The highlight of my week never has been and never will
be do spend my Friday and Saturday nights with the same group of people going
to the same places. I live for game day. I live for practices. I live to see
players reach that next step.
I am willing to work for it, and I have had to do many
things that were difficult, make sacrifices, and spend a lot of time doing the
jobs that no one wants to do. In England, mandatory education stops at sixteen.
Ten years later, I am still in education, one year away from graduating with a
master’s. A lot of people my age are making much more money than me as they
have stable careers, and are not having to pay for education, but at the age of
twenty six, I have worked in many different countries across three different
continents, doing a job that I love. My friend and his girlfriend have just
bought a house together and are now on a cruise around the Mediterranean. They
are truly happy, and as much as I would like that, I am not prepared to give up
on my dream. After many years abroad, I am now back living with my parents,
barely making enough money to afford gas to get to practice, but I would not
trade it. I know what I want to achieve, and I know that sacrifices have to be
made to achieve it. It would be easy to quit, but I plan on living another
sixty years or so. Quitting is for cowards. I wouldn’t want to live the rest of
my life with the shame of trying my best, making sacrifices, and then deciding
that enough is enough and that I want the easy life. If your desire and
determination is strong enough, you can achieve those goals. It’s like my old
boss used to say; “We can all achieve our dreams, if we have the courage to
pursue them”.
Why
do I coach the way I do? – A lot of how you coach,
particularly at the beginning, is shaped by your personality. As a person, I am
naturally polite, kind, and humble. These are good traits to build upon as a
leader and as a person, but you also need to be confident, enthusiastic,
commanding, driven, disciplined. As an assessor once remarked about me when I
failed one of the early licenses in coaching “You’re not exactly the life of
the party”. I have had the second set of traits all along, but they have not
been outward in my personality. Confidence has been a huge issue. I have always
been confident in my knowledge, but not confident in the confidence others may
have in me. I have learnt that. I have made it a priority to work upon that,
and now when I coach, I very much am the life of the party. It’s like being on
TV or speaking to large audiences. At first you are shy, perhaps nervous, and
never really come out of your shell. Now I have no problems with that at all. I
have made my weaknesses my strengths.
What has helped me coach the way I do now is years of
practice, a multitude of experiences, and endless coaching education. I look
for every chance I get to gain another license, go on another coaching course,
go to a CPD event. This provides opportunities for feedback, assessment,
analysis, and to reinforce the good, and improve the bad areas of your coaching
persona. Most of my experience has largely come under the influence or guidance
of either English or American soccer ideals. Even in Singapore and Kuwait, I
worked for English companies with an English ethos. Both the American and
English ideals are very similar, and have been shaped by stealing the best bits
from the French, Germans, Spanish, Dutch, Brazilians, Italians, and even the
Belgians. We all know that coaches are the best thieves. From here I have learnt
how to maximise player development, and to create a philosophy that is
adaptable to different ages and abilities, dependent upon who I am working
with. It all comes from the same book in my mind, so what I do with the U6 team
could be relatable to what I do with my ladies, just a much more simplified
version that builds up over time. My three values are effort, respect, and
creativity. That is applicable to every team of every age and ability. I want
to see you work hard, I want to see you play fairly, and I want to see you have
fun and use your magic.
What does it feel like to be coached by me? – This is going to depend largely upon the personality of the player. I have found I connect more with the players who arrive at practice first, stay the longest, and ask the most questions. These aren’t often the best players in terms of technical ability, though sometimes they are. They help with equipment, they ask for advice and guidance on areas of their game that we are not covering in the session, and they confide things in you, almost like they are looking for your approval. The players that are lazy and disrespectful are the ones that I clash with. I cannot tolerate that, regardless of ability.
Sometimes I can be strict when I need to be, and that
will set a tone that we are not here to waste time. When players complain about
things that are boring or difficult, but are necessary, I do not back down. For
example, fitness testing. I am looking to improve the player tactically,
technically, physically, and psychologically. We test it, we monitor it, we
improve it. Then you become better. The less motivated players probably think I
am boring and will remind them of the teachers at school that tell them to stop
talking and to do their homework. The highly motivated ones will see me as
someone in their corner, that has always got their back, and who will strive to
get the best out of them, who will challenge them and take them to new heights.
Some players used to see me as a pushover or a soft touch, and that can’t be
said any more.
How do I define success? – Improvement. Being better than we were. Ascertaining goals and then achieving them. Again, this is largely dependent upon the player and the team. I have had to have discussions with players and parents about this, who want instant success and have different definitions. A prime example, when in Mexico, my U7 boys lost to an elite team that was run by FC Barcelona. They destroyed us 18-1. They had players who at that age, receive the ball on the chest and strike with their laces into the top corner from twenty yards. My boys picking their noses and chasing butterflies. If we make our goal to be as good as them by next week, we will fail. If we look to win the league, the league which they are also in, we will fail. We have to make realistic and attainable goals, which we achieve over time, and move onto higher levels. Going back to my three values; did we try our hardest? Did we play fairly? Did we have fun? Three yesses, and we have achieved our primary goal for the game. You can’t ask for more than that.
Another game we lost 14-0. Our opponent had an
exceptional player that was involved in either scoring or assisting about
twelve of their goals. The parents were so upset you would have thought we were
at a funeral. What were the boys doing? Running around, hitting each other with
inflatable tubes, having a great time. They had been playing soccer just thirty
seconds ago. Did they try their best? Did they play fairly? Did they have fun?
Of course they did.
Improvement is the name of success from my point of
view as a coach. Can we be a little better than we were before? Miracles will
not happen, and success is not just achieved overnight. Lionel Messi said upon
his “overnight success” debut for Barcelona; “It took me seventeen years and
one hundred and forty seven days to become an overnight success”. Every little
gain you can make is a step in the right direction. Every inch that you can
claw towards your target is a success. Not everyone sees that. With my ladies
team that play at quite a high level, I am the new coach there, and they are a
relatively new team. I tell them that winning is not the goal, but performance
is. If we perform well, the win will come. Sometimes it does happen that you
can play bad and still win, but that is not an effective strategy. Performance
is the goal, winning is a by-product. I tell them it all adds up, piece by
piece. We will play each team twice, and I want us to do better every time. If
our first encounter finishes 1-1, our second should be 1-0, or 2-1. We always
want an improvement. In every little area, can we be better? During the game,
the second half should be better than the first. In the first half, we only created
two scoring opportunities, and gave them four scoring opportunities. In the
second half, our goal will be to beat that. By determining the goal, by
measuring the success rates, you will begin to gain thousands of little
victories. The little victories add up to big extrinsic successes, such as
championships and trophies. That would be great, but we are nine months away
from that. We need to focus on our first game this Sunday. We will determine
our key performance indicators, see how well we perform against those, and move
on from there.
I tell my players, and it is a philosophy that I take
to heart, that we cannot all be the best. There is only one MVP, there is only
one gold medal, there is only one winner. If we forever define ourselves
against that, we will fail repeatedly. Instead, be the best you. Be the best
that you can be. If I have all the players in the team striving towards their
best, the team improves, that makes the players improve once more as
individuals, and slowly, we climb up that ladder, becoming closer to our
potential. On the recent announcement of fitness tests this week I heard cries
of “That’s unfair”, “I have been injured an am unfit”, “I’m one of the slowest
in the team, everyone will beat me”, and “If my friends don’t try hard, I might
lose interest and probably won’t either”. That’s very sad to hear. I informed
them that their results would be recorded individually, and that they are not
looking to compete against each other, but only against their recent
performance. The best you can be is not determined by others around you. If you
achieve a low score, achieve a better score next time. If you achieve a high
score, get an even higher score next time. Don’t worry about how anyone else
does apart from yourself. If you can beat your score, that is success. If you
maintain that improvement, that is success. It all adds up, eventually, piece
by piece, brick by brick.
Reading this back, I come across as far more intense than I would have originally thought. That's a little scary. Perhaps I really should consider the quiet life, and start filling my life with boring TV and pubs.
